Captivated by Your Introverted Personality

Chapter 22

JESH

"'Di ka pa babalik doon? May activity yata kayo mamayang hapon."

"I'm not interested," I said as I continued walking.

Palibot-libot lang ako, trying to enjoy everything what the nature can offer. It's not really hot and it's very windy kaya naman masarap maglakad sa dalampasigan.

"How about your lunch? 12:30 na ah?"

"I'm not hungry."

"I'm kinda hungry. Tara? Treat kita."

I stopped walking at hinarap ko siya.

"You should stop doing this, Dan. I don't want to be your burden. At tsaka, we have our free lunch inside the hotel—it's just that I'm not hungry. Ikaw na lang."

"But---"

"Just do me a favor, please? Stop spending your money on me."

I heard his deep sigh before smiling.

"Alright then."

"Good. Sige na, kumain ka na. Maglilibot lang ako rito. Promise, walang mangyayaring masama sa'kin if that's your main concern right now. Plus, we're in the middle of the day, nothing bad is gonna happen to me here."

"Hindi naman 'yan ang concern ko, 'yung health mo. Sometimes, you skip meals and it worried me na baka 'di mo na naaalagaan ang sarili mo."

"Sanay ako sa ganito. When I was training for martial arts as a kid, I remember how our master never let us eat anything unless we performed better."

"Brutal naman niyan."

"Yup. There was a time that I never ate for 3 straight days, only water."

"Pero 'di mo pa rin dapat ni-nonormalize iyan. You could've passed out anytime kahit sabihin mo pang sanay ka na. Concern lang naman ako."

Ngumiti ako.

"Thank you but really, I'm not hungry right now. Kakain naman ako kapag nagugutom ako eh. 'Di ko lang talaga feel kumain ngayon."

"Okay, I'll be there sa Seafood Bistro. Balikan kita rito mamaya kapag natapos na akong kumain."

Ngumiti lang ako bago siya umalis.

Naiwan akong mag-isa habang pinagmamasdan ang malalakas na alon sa dalampasigan.

I smiled bitterly.

The last time I was in a beach was with my friends. I could still remember that day.

It was my birthday. It was supposed to be a happy celebration, yet I ended up in a stupid one-sided heartbreak.

Pretty sucks if you asked me.

That was the time I realized that he has no feelings for me. I was the only one who gave meanings to all his sweet gestures towards me. He is straight, I am not. I should've known that from the start but I was too naive.

Sigh! But I miss them so much. I really wanted to see them again except him. I'm not ready to face him. I'm still not ready. He's mad and he has the right to be mad at me. The fact that I'll be seeing him again in December makes me feel both excited and ambivalent.

'I really wanted to move on, Phillip. I hope that when we see each other again, I no longer have feelings for you. I do not like or love you and you won't be the reason anymore for what I feel.'

I hate this feeling.

Deep inside, I know that I still have feelings for him. 'Di naman kasi nawala eh. Sigh!