Sheila and Lopez approaching Red Base. Tucker driving Sheila and Unknown is up top.
Tucker: Ahh, Sheila we have to slow down or we're gonna run into that jeep!
Sheila: Please take evasive action. Please take evasive action.
Tucker: You take evasive action! Hey, Lopez, help me out! Can't you talk to her?
Lopez: Perdóname. Pero no puedo hablar con mujeres bellas porque sudo. [Sorry. I'm not good at talking to beautiful women. I get sweaty.]
Unknown: how? You're a robot.
Grif and Donut are crouching behind the jeep
Donut: Well old buddy, it looks like this is the end for us. Since we're going to die anyway, there's only one thing left for us to do. Grif-
Grif: If you actually suggest what I think you're about to suggest, I'll just have to kill myself.
Donut: -lets make a break for it!
Grif: Whew! In that case lets go on 3. That's worked well for me in the past.
Donut: Okay, you count.
Grif: Fine, but don't look at me while I count because I get nervous. (he turns around and Donut stands up) 1....(Donut runs away) 2.....(he turns around and sees Donut running) That son of a bitch, he beat me at my own game. Curses!
Sheila is heading right at the jeep
Sheila rams into the jeep, blowing it up and sending Grif and Lopez flying. Lopez yells in surprise of the explosion as he lands in a pool of Grifs Blood. Grif is briefly shown splatterd on the ground. Sheila is being covered by dust and rock lifted by the explosion. Inside red base, Donut runs up to Sarge and Simmons Panting heavily.
Sarge: Good golly Miss Molly! What is going on out there?
Donut: (Panting as he speaks) Sir, the blues are attacking with their tank! They-they blew up the Warthog, again.
Simmons: I wonder what jeeps ever did to those guys.
Donut: Grif and I just barely had enough time to make it out of there. Right Grif? ....uhh, Grif?
Back in Caboose's mind
Church: (to Caboose's mental image of Church) Why the hell did they pair me up with you?
Mental-Church: I wanted to keep my eye on you. I don't trust giantic turds trying to steal my best friend, you rimjob!
Church: Well, this is going to be a great trip.
Mental image of Church approaches the ledge overlooking the area.
Mental-Church: Attention Reds! The great Caboose demands an audience with you! So listen up, you blowjobbing cocksuckers!
Mental image of Simmons appears.
Mental-Simmons: Caboose? Oh no, he's come to kill us!
Mental image of Grif appears, wearing yellow armor
Mental-Grif: Would someone please help me, I don't want to die!
Mental image of Donut appears, speaking with a girl's voice
Mental-Donut: I love Caboose, and yet I'm so afraid of him!
Mental image of Sarge appears, speaking like a pirate
Mental-Sarge: Argh, I be having a southern accent, your luck.
Mental-Donut: He's so scary.
Mental-Caboose: Fear not reds, I come here not to destroy but instead to ask for your assistance on this day.
YOU ARE READING
Agent Nebraska (RVB Blood Gulch Chronicles)
ФанфикNow what happens when a group of idiots in the middle of a box canyon have a new person with them. And the only thing that the new person knows is that he's one of those idiots, and wouldn't have it any other way. I do not own Red Vs Blue or Halo.
