Church, Unknown, Tucker, and Caboose are standing on top of Blue Base.
Church: Let me get this straight.. You gave this guy our flag?
Caboose: Is that bad?
Church: Bad? Oh no, that's not bad. Next time he comes over, why don't you just help him blow up the whole goddamn base?
Tucker: There, there he is.
Church: (looking through the sniper rifle) Where? Oh, yeah, oh, I got him. He's sneaking around back behind the cliffs.
Tucker: He must be one smart son of a bitch.
Unknown: (looks through his Binary rifle) huh? He's out in the open.
Donut is lost and looking around the canyon.
Donut: Oh, man, I am so freakin' lost. Where the hell is the base?
Back to Church, Unknown, Tucker, and Caboose.
Church: Oh, shit... Hey Tucker, look at his armor. It's red.
Tucker: Oh man, that means it's their Sergeant.
Church: Well, that makes sense. At least now we know how he got by our defenses.
Unknown: what defenses?
Caboose: Uh, you know.. he came in the back door where you guys were standing.
Unknown: details aren't important rookie.
Tucker: Yeah, okay, well let's take him out then.
Church: Roger that. Okay, say goodnight, Sarge.
Back to Donut as Church shoots four times but misses.
Donut: (crouching) Son of a bitch!
Church: Aw crap.
Tucker: ...
Unknown: ...
Church: (turns to Tucker and Unknown) ...What?
Tucker: You're REALLY not very good with that thing, are you?
Donut: (shouting at Blue Base while waving the flag) Hey! It's me! Don't shoot! I'm the guy that bought the flag, remember!?
Tucker: Oh great, now he's taunting us. That's just embarrassing.
Unknown: let me take a shot at him?
Church: be my guess.
Unknown then takes out his Binary rifle and aims at Donut, as he was about to shoot, something happened and made Unknown miss.
Tucker: ...
Church: and you complain that my aim was bad.
Unknown: shut the fuck up.
Church: Alright, that's it, I've had it. Rookie, you stay here. Me, Unknown, and Tucker, we'll head through the teleporter, we'll cut him off at the pass.
Caboose: Right!
Church: you two ready? Let's go.
Tucker: There is no way I'm going through that thing.
Church: Tucker, we don't have time for this. Why would they give us a teleporter if it doesn't work?
Tucker: I don't know, why would they give us a tank that no one can drive?
Unknown: solid point.
Church: We already tested the teleporter, remember?
Tucker: We threw rocks through it!
Church: Yeah, and, so what? The rocks came out the other side, didn't they?
Tucker: Yeah, but they were all hot and covered with black stuff.
Unknown: then we threw beef and it turned cooked.
Church: Oh, so I guess that's what this is all about then. You're afraid of a little black stuff.
Tucker: Yes. I am. I am afraid of black stuff.
Church: Tucker, I almost hate to do this to you. (raising his gun at Tucker)
Tucker: You wouldn't...
Church: You know, I look at it this way: Either A, we go through there and get the flag back, or B, we stay here and I get to kill you. Either way, I win.
Tucker: why can't Unknown go first?
Church: cause he would punch you in there first.
Tucker: (ponders for a moment then sighs) For the record, I want you to know, rocks aren't people.
Church: Duly noted. Now get in there.
Tucker: Crap... Alright. One, two...
Tucker runs through and doesn't appear on the other side.
Caboose: ...Huh, he didn't come out the other side...
Church: Yeeaahhh, I've uh- I've decided I'm not gonna use the teleporter.
Unknown: uh, same with me.
Church and Unknown runs off the base to chase Donut.
Church: Okay, rookie, you stay here! We'll be back with the flag!
With Simmons and Grif.
Simmons: I still have no idea what you're talking about. I didn't hear any shots.
Grif: (sighs) I'm telling you, it was five shots. Like bam, bam, bam.
Simmons: Wait a second, that's only three bams.
Grif: Bam ...
Simmons: that was still four bams.
Grif: bam. (sees Church and Unknown through a sniper rifle) Wait a second, we've got two Blue guys on the move out there.
Simmons: Where they headed?
Grif: (looks to the left) Oh crap. It... It's Donut. And he's got something... (zooms in) It looks like... (sees that it's the Blue's flag)...Simmons, get the Warthog.
Simmons: Heh, you mean the Puma?
Grif: Yeah, keep making jokes. That'll win the war.
YOU ARE READING
Agent Nebraska (RVB Blood Gulch Chronicles)
FanficNow what happens when a group of idiots in the middle of a box canyon have a new person with them. And the only thing that the new person knows is that he's one of those idiots, and wouldn't have it any other way. I do not own Red Vs Blue or Halo.
