Church and Tex are inside Caboose's head, with mental images of Caboose and Tucker
Caboose: I see, so you're from the outside. That's where the other is from as well.
Church: The other? Wait you mean O'Malley? Have you seen him?
Mental image of Church and Unknown appears behind Caboose
Mental image of Church: Of course he's seen him, you idiot! You think Mister Caboose would miss something like that, you skeezy douche bag fuck?!
Church: Alright, hold on a second. Who the hell are you?
Mental image of Church: My name is Church, butt wiping ass munch!
Church: (whispering to Tex) This guy is kind of an asshole.
Tex: Yeah, we've met.
Mental image of Church: And I'm Caboose's best friend, so don't get any ideas about kissing up, you lip licking fuck suck!
Church: Okay, there's a lot of stuff in that sentence that I didn't like.
Tex: Just play along, Church. We're gonna need these guys if we're gonna find O'Malley.
Tucker: I'm gonna go look for girls! (he leaves)
Church: Fine, whatever. (Looks at the mental image of Unknown) and I bet you're Unknown?
Caboose: (Unknown is silent) he doesn't talk much.
Church: that doesn't sound right. He talks a little more than when he dropped into the canyon.
Tex: wait, dropped in? As in fell into?
Church: yeah, kinda. One day while me and Tucker were on top of the base, we saw a portal open and he fell through.
Tex: weird. (Mind: so that's how you ended up in this place.)
Caboose: anyways, if you want to find O'Malley, I suggest we talk to the reds first. He tried to recruit them against me early on.
Church: The reds? The reds are in here?
In real world, Grif and Donut are next to the sideways jeep
Grif: Are you sure you left the part in there?
Donut: Hmm, think so. Wait, yes! No. Wait, wait wait wait. Mmmmmmmmm, I think so.
Grif: (sighs) Alright, lets retrace your steps. You said it was the Tuesday before Simmons and Sarge got blown up that you were last in the Warthog, right?
Donut: Right. I know it was Tuesday because that's the day I wash my underwear. And since I don't like letting my armor touch my bare skin, on account of I chafe real easily, I remember thinking "Where can I hang out with no pants on?"
Grif: Oh God!
Lopez as well as Tucker driving Sheila and Unknown on top of her, heading towards the red base
Tucker: Okay well, looks like we're close enough. Now if I could just find the brakes on this thing. Ah, it must be this button.
Sheila: Do not touch that button.
Tucker: Oh, sorry. Hmm, maybe it's this one.
Sheila: Do not touch me.
Tucker: You know, for a girl your size, you're kinda sensitive.
Grif: I cannot take anymore of this.
Donut: So after I clipped my toenails, I was gonna apply the ointment as recommended. But I don't know, it just smelled really funny. So, I decided to taste it, just to make sure it was safe.
Grif: That's it! I'm committing suicide. (he runs off)
Donut: Hey! I didn't finish retracing my steps yet. You don't even know what I did about the boil on my thigh.
Grif: (stops and looks off into the distance) Oh crap!
Grif sees Lopez, Sheila, Unknown, and Tucker approaching. Grif quickly takes cover behind the jeep
Donut: Hey you're back! So where was I? Oh yeah, I lanced it. Disgusting! (makes creeped out noises)
Grif: Not now, rookie! There's a giant tank out there that's about to steamroll right over us!
Donut: What?! (he hops up and down to see over the jeep and sees Sheila approaching) Oh God it's true! I'm totally freaking out! I'm freaking out! (he runs around in circles)
Tucker: Oh my God. I can't believe Caboose is smart enough to drive this thing and I'm not! Sheila how the fuck do I slow you down?
Sheila: Retard the throttle.
Tucker: What throttle? This throttle?
Sheila: Retard the controller.
Tucker: You mean this thing? What're you talking about, I'm so confused!
Sheila: The controller, retard!
Tucker: Hey that's kinda insulting. (Sheila repeats the word "retard" over and over as they approach Red base) Oh, come on. Now you're just being mean.
Sheila: ...retard.
Unknown: not her fault you don't know how to handle a woman.
YOU ARE READING
Agent Nebraska (RVB Blood Gulch Chronicles)
FanficNow what happens when a group of idiots in the middle of a box canyon have a new person with them. And the only thing that the new person knows is that he's one of those idiots, and wouldn't have it any other way. I do not own Red Vs Blue or Halo.
