Space Man

Paranoid

Xisuma POV

After the dream, I couldn’t shake the paranoia. Xavier’s games had gone too far, and I didn’t know what he was planning. The thought of hurting Keralis—even in a dream—made my chest tighten with fear. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw the still image of him on the floor, pale and lifeless. It haunted me. I knew it wasn’t real, but it felt so vivid, like a warning I couldn’t ignore.

As I sat in the quiet of my room, Keralis’s words echoed in my mind again: “Jag älskar dig, Xisuma.” The memory of his soft voice saying my name in a way so tender, so genuine, brought an unexplainable warmth to my chest. I replayed the moment over and over, trying to decipher why it affected me so much.

Why did hearing those words make me so happy? Why did it feel like my heart was swelling every time I thought about it? I didn’t even fully understand what he had said at the time, but the way he said it—gentle, full of care—was enough to make me feel something deeper than I could explain.

It wasn’t just the words, though. It was him. The way he always found ways to comfort me, to ground me, even when I was at my worst. The way he could say something as simple as a nickname like “Shishwammy” and somehow make it feel like the most special thing in the world. The way his presence alone could chase away my darkest thoughts.

The warmth in my chest grew as I thought about all the little things he did—his laughter, the way he always seemed to know when I needed him, even his late-night visits where he’d curl up with his favorite blanket.

I sighed, running a hand through my hair. Maybe I was overthinking it, but… maybe I wasn’t. If those words had meant what I thought they did, then maybe… just maybe, the warmth in my chest was a sign of something I had been too afraid to admit. Something I had been feeling for a long time without realizing it.

Maybe I felt the same way....

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I sat at my desk, staring at the scattered papers and glowing panels of holographic code. I knew I had work to do—important work—but no matter how hard I tried to focus, my thoughts kept circling back to him. His voice, his smile, the way he said my name with that affectionate lilt... it was like he’d taken up permanent residence in my mind.

A soft knock at the door startled me, and I barely registered the sound of it opening.

“Shishwammy?” His voice broke through the haze, gentle and filled with concern.

I jumped so hard my knee hit the underside of the desk, sending a jolt up my arm as my funny bone slammed into the edge. A sharp hiss escaped me, and I winced, clutching my arm.

“Oh my gosh, are you okay?” Keralis asked, stepping into the room with wide eyes.

“I—yeah, yeah, I’m fine,” I stammered, my voice an octave higher than usual. I shook out my arm, trying to play it off, but the sting lingered, making me wince again.

“You sure?” He walked closer, his brow furrowing as he looked me over. “You jumped like you saw a ghost. Or... were you thinking about something?” He raised an eyebrow, his tone teasing but kind.

“I was just focused, that’s all,” I lied, waving my hand dismissively. My heart raced, but I wasn’t sure if it was from the surprise or the way he was looking at me. His concern, his presence—it was like he had this gravitational pull I couldn’t resist.

Keralis didn’t seem convinced. “Focused, huh?” He leaned against the edge of my desk, crossing his arms. “Focused enough to launch yourself out of your chair? What’s really on your mind, Shishwammy?”

I hesitated, glancing at the screen in front of me. “Just… work. There’s a lot to do.”

“Mmm,” he hummed, clearly unconvinced. He reached out, placing a hand on my arm. His touch was light, but it sent a wave of warmth through me. “Well, don’t overwork yourself, okay? You’ve been so tense lately. And, uh, maybe try not to injure yourself at your own desk?”

I couldn’t help but laugh softly, the tension easing just a little. “I’ll try. No promises, though.”

“Good,” he said with a smile, his hand lingering a moment longer before pulling back. “But seriously, take a break soon, Shishwammy. You’re no good to anyone if you burn yourself out.”

As he turned to leave, I found myself staring after him, my chest tightening. I had barely managed to get any work done today, and now, with him so close, my thoughts were even further from productivity. How could I focus on anything else when he was all I could think about?

“Keralis?” I called softly, my voice barely above a whisper as he reached the doorway.

He stopped, turning back to face me. “Yeah?” he asked, his tone light but curious, his head tilting slightly as his gaze met mine.

I hesitated, my fingers brushing the edge of the desk as I worked up the courage to speak. Finally, I looked up at him, the words tumbling out before I could second-guess myself. “Could you stay?”

For a moment, he didn’t say anything. His eyes softened, and the faintest smile tugged at the corners of his lips. “Of course, Shishwammy,” he replied, stepping back into the room.

I felt the tension in my chest ease as he walked over, pulling a nearby chair closer to sit beside me. “What’s on your mind?” he asked gently, resting an elbow on the arm of the chair and leaning slightly toward me.

“I don’t know,” I admitted, my voice quieter now. “I just… I think I need some company.”

He nodded, his smile growing warmer. “I can do that. No problem.”

He didn’t press for more details, and I was grateful for it. Instead, he leaned back comfortably, his presence grounding and reassuring. For a moment, we sat in silence, the soft hum of the holographic panels filling the room.

“Thanks,” I said after a while, glancing at him.

“Anytime,” he replied, his voice steady. Then, with a playful grin, he added, “Besides, someone’s gotta keep you from injuring yourself at your desk again.”

I laughed despite myself, the sound lighter than I expected. It wasn’t much, but his presence was enough to help me feel a little more like myself again.

With Keralis nearby, I found it easier to focus. His quiet, steady presence was oddly motivating, grounding me in a way I hadn’t realized I needed. Every so often, I’d glance at him, catching him flipping through a book or casually spinning a pencil between his fingers. His calm demeanor seemed to bleed into the room, making it easier to push through the endless stacks of admin tasks I had to tackle.

For the first time in what felt like forever, I managed to clear a significant portion of my backlog. The constant buzz of holographic panels and the rhythmic tapping of keys didn’t feel so overwhelming with him there. It was almost… peaceful.

After a while, he set his book down and stretched with an exaggerated yawn. “Alright, Shishwammy, I think it’s time for a break,” he announced, standing and brushing imaginary dust off his shirt.

I glanced up, mid-scroll through another report. “A break?”

“Yes, a break. You’ve been working hard, and I’m starving,” he said with a grin. “I’m going to make lunch, and you, my dear admin, are going to eat.”

Before I could protest, he was already heading toward the door, waving a hand dismissively over his shoulder. “Don’t even think about arguing. I’ll call you when it’s ready.”

I couldn’t help but smile as he disappeared around the corner. Somehow, he always knew exactly when to step in and take care of things, even when I didn’t realize I needed it.