Somewhere out there in the centre of a dark forest with winding trees and creeping shadows there is a large spooky terrifying horrific almost-too-scary-to-be-true castle. The spires are so tall they pierce the clouds like a display of the horror that takes place inside. There isn't one window that isn't cracked, they let the draught blow through the twisting corridors of the castle, because of course those inside don't need to stay warm. The castle is guarded by two large stone gorgons screaming either side of the magnificent gate that creaks eerily in the wind. Even the 'Warning Keep Away' sign is so scary it deserves it's own 'Warning Keep Away' sign, with the blood red paint dried in a dripping state. Even looking at the castle gives you the chills, as if you've just walked into a horror movie. Right next to it is a little peachy red cottage, and that's where the vampires lived.
Three vampires lived there. One is tall and spindly, if I were to compare him to an animal he would be a stick insect because of his lack of volume. His name was Draculaa, not THE Dracula. THE Dracula actually sued him because he had copyright over the name and other Dracula had to change his name to Draculaa (with two a's.) So just in case you think I'm spelling his name wrong, I am not. His name was Draculaa. It is also pronounced with an extended ah sound.
Draculaa was the master of the cottage, he was the one who paid the mortgage, and stooped round the place in a long black cape with what he calls 'war damage' ruining it. He had what you would call the traditional vampire look. It wasn't the fashion for vampires to look like he did, he was like a Goth in the world of vampires. Most went for the whole 'I'm human, but am I?' look, he preferred to make it glaringly obvious he was vampire from the human teeth necklace to the steamrolled eyeliner.
Second in command was Freddie, he was rather 'round'. He had had a cheerful chipmunk type smile with dramatic dimples and frizzy hair not styled in any particular way. He was very sensitive about his size. He has a strange aura about him, which you could probably sense if he ever peeled his eyes away from a video console.
Finally there is the little dude they call Kevin. He had large milk bottle type back-framed glasses and a sizable nose that made his face seem overcrowded. He was the kind of person who gets very paranoid very easily. If things weren't done correctly, he would get irritated. His most annoying aspect is the patronising voice he uses when talking to anybody without any respectable qualifications.
That was the clan of vampires that lived in the peachy red cottage next to the castle of death, which was in fact a dodgy school house specialising in preparing youth for ruthless vampirism.
Plenty of vampires actually live amongst humans, fangs only appear when vampires are hungry so as long as they are well nourished that isn't really a problem. Vampires can eat with the human diet if they wish so neither is finding food a problem. If anything the availability of supermarkets makes it easier. Obviously stocks of sun cream have to be at hand to stop them burning to death, they do have to smear it on themselves at great measure in order to avoid burns.
Although it was perfectly safe for them to go outside, Draculaa, Freddie and Kevin didn't. The idea of social interaction with human beings scared them a lot. Freddie was pretty sure he could handle it, but then he doesn't have the ability to run fast enough to escape the blood thirsty flies/mosquitos that would be attracted to the colossal amount of sun cream they would have to wear to avoid death. So those three vampires lived far away from human civilisation, even though they were vegetarians. Unfortunately this did mean they were victimised by the other vampires who isolate themselves too, as they tend to be traditional vampires who believe in hunting down humans from nearby villages and drinking them dry. It didn't help that they lived next to the most traditional vampire school in the county and are the prime victims for vandalism and abuse.
That's the whole reason they were in the human village hiding behind a bin in the first place. It was a few days before and it was about 3am. All the young vampires from the school had been let out and were cackling making their way back to their violent parents basking in the moonlight. In the front lawn Kevin had made a large catapult and had boxes filled to the brim with tomatoes. The three vampires had been planning this for a while. They had decided after the incident in which their whole house had been defaced from the front was the last straw.
"What do you think Drac?" Kevin smirked.
"It is magnificent." Draculaa snarled as he scraped his long fingernails across the wood.
Freddie nodded and continued to blast virtual bats into oblivion.
"Using my own knowledge and some of which I have collected in the past couple of days I have created a catapult which cannot fail." Kevin bragged working his way round the catapult. "I made several, this one is statistically the most likely to hit the most kids."
"Hmmmmmm"
"You will need these" Kevin said passing Draculaa and Freddie large goggles. "Let's do this"
A dramatic scene in which the two sides locked in a deathless battle of tomatoes commenced. The red fruit, commonly mistaken for a vegetable was splatted and rebounded on all directions, soaring threw the air staining clothes and stealing dignity. It begun as an unfair fight, adults with crafted weapons against defenceless children, and ended with three dorky vampires covered in more tomatoes than all the kids put together. How this happened, I do not know.
"Yeah.. well at least we've actually grown fangs" Draculaa defended.
"Don't use them though do you! Have you ever even tasted the blood of a human" A voice jeered.
"Yes, actually, we catch regular humans and feast off their blood."
"We do..?" Kevin intervened. Freddie then trod on Kevin's toes with all his weight, and that's a lot.
"Oh...y..y...y...yes we d...d...dooo!"
"We are going out to get one tonight actually, a female I think." Draculaa continued.
"Y...y....y..yes we a...a...are!"
"Aha believe that when I see it. You losers in your pink house" One of them yelled, transformed into a bat then flew off.
"It is not pink it is peachy red" Dracula breathed heavily.
"We are going to the village tonight?" Kevin asked.
"No" Freddie laughed.
"No, we have to, we said we would we have to, we can't lie, they'd find out, we can't just lie about something like that." Kevin stuttered. "You don't understand, I can't say something then not do it."
"Well you have to"
"No" Draculaa snarled. "Maybe we should get out there, it might do us some good to get back into the traditional spirit again."
"But we are vegetarians!" Kevin squeaked.
"Not anymore"
