Fire rose

Cursed

Do you think I am happy 

To carry this weight on my chest ?

To suffer this burn in my heart

To inhabit this rage in my guts

Don't you think I'd rather let it all go

Let it go off of me and leave me lighter

Don't you see the pain it causes me ?

Don't you see the scars on my flesh ?

I am scarred by birth

I am heavy with life

Tired of time

Lost in my own mind

I was cursed by his blood

Running through my veins

I learned to hate my own name

And fear the flame in my eyes

If I showed anger

I was to be like him

A monster made of me

The outcome of his violence

But under my fire

You couldn't see my pain

I had to be ashamed of it

You taught me repression

Unsaid, hidden secret

The ugly beast

Shoved under the bed

With all our demons

Cursed 

Is this the reason

I have been bullied and hated ?

Harassed and abused ?

Criticized and hurt ?

I find myself at the same place

Where I have always been

Alone in the corner

Pushed on the side

I am not a monster

I cry, defending myself

I am not the one who attacks

Not like you who pushes me down

I always reach the same place

Remote and alone

Away from people's reach

In the end

Awkward and uncomfortable

I can't find my place between all of you

I can't breathe, I suffocate

Why can't you make space for me ?

Sooner or later

I attract your hatred

Here or there

I become estranged

I thought I could make myself a place

Surrounded with people who'd understand me

Who see me for who I am

But maybe it is my destiny

I try every day

I try every way

But why does it feel like

I can't escape my fate

Fatality

I did everything

To not follow my parents

To lead my own way

After breaking their toxic patterns

Am I trapped in my own cycle ?

Or is it the only path for me

To be loathed for being authentic

Is it a curse or a blessing

To be detested by simple minds

By people in the norm

By ethic-lacking masses

Should I rejoice in their disgust

Is it a sign I am doing well

When I do not envy these people

Who treat me like an outcast

Alienated wherever I go

Abandoned to myself

Rejected by so many

I prefer to be hated for who I am

My anger

My heart

My fire

My empathy

I carry them with me

A curse it might be

For most people

But I choose to cherish them

I have always preferred to be alone

Rather than be surrounded by fake

I can't stop being the way that I am

Because I believe there is honour in it

I am not what you expected of me

I am not my parents

I am not my society

I am no one but me

I suffice myself

And I'd rather be feared 

Than easily manipulated 

Or looked down upon

Will you love me

See me

For who I am

Or be just another enemy ?

In the precious silence

Of my own presence

I find my truest self

My true home