Summer Love

Chapter 18: Movies

Louis: Once I was inside, I had every pair of eyes on me. My sisters, my mom, my dad, everyone. Of course it wasn't often I was the one crying. "She's gone," I whispered, walking up the stairs to my room. Really Louis? I thought. For whatever reason, my thought was in Sarah's voice, You knew me all of three months and your crying? That was the funny part. It had only taken me three months and I was so in love with her that my entire world had stopped when she left. That had to be something special. I began to sob fresh tears. I kept reminding myself that she was just a summer love. Didn't I want that in the beginning. It all felt so distant. Even a week ago felt like the beginning of the summer. It was like they were their, but I couldn't reach them. I looked around, wiping my tears with the back of my hand. That's when I saw it. The USB Sarah had given me only the night before. I grabbed it and my laptop and plugged it in. I clicked on the name that came up: Our Summer. I watched as my Media Player came up. The screen suddenly was full of Sarah's face. I introduced myself and said, "This is our first movie since?" Sarah answered, her voice pulsing in my ears. "Why?" I asked. I blinked. It was like I was watching something from when I was little, even though my voice and laugh were all the same. I saw myself singing to the song in the car, myself and Sarah, things that were only painfull to look at. I wanted to scream, but I couldn't. It was like my actual self was buried under too big of a body and it couldn't come out. I felt dead. I wanted to shut my laptop, but I was afraid of shutting out Sarah, never to see her again. So I sat through a half an hour, watching a perfect summer roll by. Now it was all over.

Sarah: I was bored. I kept seeing images in my head. Things like Emily's bloody body, and Louis waving his arms and chasing us. The words Its over echoed in my ears. The worst feeling was knowing that it was my voice echoing. I had done this. I had done all of it. I had let myself go, but getting it back was what hurt. I had given my heart away, but I had been the one to take it back, shoving it in a hole that had been starting to heal and causing frayed edges. That was part of my problem. I had been starting to heal. Now it hurt more.

I opened my laptop to look at the only thing that I knew would make me forget, the videos. I knew looking at happiness, my own happiness, would make me feel slightly less broken. As I watched, I felt a fresh tear run down my cheek, knowing I was the one who screwed it all up. Why was I such an idiot. Why didn't I try to stay. Because you couldn''t the little smart aleck in my mind said. I pulled on my headphones, hoping music could dull everything that was going on in my mind. It didn't work. An example of how broken I really was. And I felt like I may as well have just killed someone. Even though I had probably given a life back to someone.