Teri Meri Kahani

9. Denial

SHANTANU'S POV:

Weird.

Weird is the only word I would use to describe my feelings these days. Never in my whole life till date have I felt something like this and I think its completely absurd. I mean come on, this is not at all possible right?

Ok so you all might be confused about what has been weirding me out so much lately.

Its these stupid freaking ticklish feeling I get in my stomach whenever that panda is near me. I mean, its not even possible! she's my freaking best friend since diapers and now all of this will just ruin it.

I might annoy her sometimes, I might flirt with her some times as well-well ok, not sometimes but all the time. But the point is that I adore our friendship too much to ruin it with any other feeling. And according to the recent statistics, things don't look good.

Mansi has always been my comfort place. People think that its me most of the times who comforts her, takes care of her and makes her happy.

But that's totally wrong. there might be uncountable people in this world, but my home resides in only one. And its her. I know the choice of words is very strong but it is what it is. It's the truth that no matter how many people I meet or befriend, at the end of the day, I crave for her company. It's been like that since childhood.

Every time when I feel like doing nothing or feel low, I just sit down and look at our pictures that our parents had clicked when we were kids. We used to be the most striking duo because of our contrasting characteristics yet the bond we had was something out of this world. I mean, we still do have that bond tho. I was such a trouble maker and a cry baby but Mansi has always been an understanding and calm child.

People think I calm her down when she gets stressed or anxious and it is just that way, but no. Ever since my childhood, she's the one who wipes my tears when I cry. She's the one who sits by side and gives me her shoulder until my tears dry out and start acting goofy again.

I am guy who doesn't get sad very often but when I do feel broken, its very hard for me to return to being happy again and everyone who tries to make me happy, fails. My own mother included.

But Mansi's presence is the only one I crave when I need a shoulder to cry on or need a trench to shout out my secrets.

In short, if comfort had a synonym, for me it would be my panda.

My panda, just mine. She's my best friend and only mine for that. She can never get close to any one like she's close with me. And she doesn't try to get close to anyone as well. We are both happy just the way we are with each other. Goofy and disciplined at the same time.

But recently, I can sense some change in her behaviour and its having an effect on me too. Not gonna lie, I did have a crush on mansi when we were in 7th std, but it lasted just for 2 days ig?

What? she'd broken my marvel figurine huh. Mistake or not, doesn't matter. It was iron man so it won't be forgotten.

(She bought me the same one the next day but that doesn't count.)

Well, I guess that was for the best. Because friendship with extra feelings will only lead to destruction. And I would rather die than to destroy what I have with Mansi.

But from the past few days, everything feels different. The way she looks at me, the way she smiles, the way she stares at me thinking that I didn't notice it. They awaken freaking butterflies in me. But I know that she doesn't feel anything for me because Mansi has always had this mindset of studies first. And right now that we are at the most important stage of our life, I am damn sure she can't develop anything for me. Not that I am hurt or something, It's definately great that there's no chance of such things between us.