Teri Meri Kahani

15. Mr. Angel

MANSI'S POV:

Tears flow down my face as I remember the happenings of last night. It felt as if my dream had shattered itself and me completely.

Yes, Shantanu Sharma was a dream for me, and I realized it yesterday.

Because it hurt. It hurt bad. It hurts bad when you want to have someone so bad but you know you can't. And you still can't stop craving their presence. It's just so hard to want someone and look at them while they give themselves to someone else. And the worst part is you have to pretend to be happy. You have to show them how happy you are for them when you can feel yourself rotting at the inside. You have to present yourself like a happy blooming flower when you're nothing but a dried dead leaf scattered on the earth.

People claim autumn to be beautiful. I did once, too. Everyone appreciates the aesthetic of the world when it is covered with brown, yellow and orange hues. But no one understands the pain of loss of green. No one understands the pain of the tree which stands dry and bald. No one understands the pain of the leaves which lie down on the earth, dry and dead when each and every moving thing of this world steps on them as if they meant nothing.

Autumn is beautiful, but people forget that its a funeral. funeral of greenery, funeral of leaves, funeral of so much more.

And right now, Though the pink shades of cherry blossoms cover the streets of bangalore, my heart feels autumn.

Right now, I am at the dance studio of our school. My back resting against the mirrer as I lean my head on it with my eyes closed. No matter how much I try, the tears won't stop. Neither will the flashbacks stop coming.

flashback...

SHANTANU: Mansi, ek baat batani thi kab se.. lekin bata nahi paaya..

(Mansi, I had to tell you something since long.. but couldn't do so..)

I gulped in the huge lump that had blocked my throat, while I pretended to smile for him and nodded my head.

He took out his phone and opened instagram which lead me to confusion. What could possibly be hidden in instagram? I mean, we both know everything about each other's social media except the passwords. We knew the people we follow, the people who follow us, and any weird message request as such, we knew everything. So what now?

The possibility that he's been hiding something from me since before lead my heart to be in pain.

He then placed the screen of his phone in front of my eyes and I was confused. Again. Because the Id he showed me isn't the one that he owns.

The confusion might've been evident on my face, hence he began explaining...

SHANTANU: umm dekh.. merko maarna matt, lekin yeh meri doosri waali Id hai. Iss waali ke baare mein maine kisiko nai bataya tha. T-Tujhe B-Bhi n-nhi.

(Umm see... don't hit me, but this is my spare id. I haven't really told about this one to anyone. Not even you.)

Wow. Just wow. I don't even know how to react at this point. Guess I was the only one following no secrets between best friends rule.

MANSI: since how long?

SHANTANU: huh?

MANSI: since how long do you own this account?

SHANTANU: Umm 3 years I guess?

You know what? At this point I shouldn't keep any expectations at all.

Let me do what I do always and proceed. Because I find letting go easier that holding on to it and pestering myself and the person opposite to me.

So I did what I do the most.