Teri Meri Kahani

20. The changes

MANSI'S POV:

Change. This is something so controversial. Change is such a simple and commonly used word, but when it comes to actually experiencing it, things take a turn. Changes are sometimes needed as the same regular routine of a person can exhaust him out or it is needed to simply gain a new experience. But a few times, when we are completely suited to our routine or the life we're leading, a single change can disrupt everything. It can turn your world upside down and your life can take a complete 360 degree turn.

Just a simple word, change. Yet, such a deep meaning. This is what life is, isn't it? looks so simple but so hard to lead. Life looks so simple when we look at it as a word, but when we do the same with a wider spectrum with reality taken into consideration, life is everything. It is what is the entire point behind our existence. It is what makes us want to work hard, or makes us want to give up. Makes us happy or makes us sad. And all of this accompanied with a change, defines the entire story of a person.

As they say, if anything is constant in life, then its a change.

And as I sit here in my usual seat with my notebook, I have my eyes closed as I go through all the changes that took place during the span of last 3 weeks. I have all of it written down in my notebook. Why? because just like sketching, writing about everything taking place in my life gives me a sense of calm. It is a way I've discovered to let my emotions out without anyone else knowing about it. Because, well, not everyone can have a human diary for themselves, right? more like some of them lose their human diaries as the time passes by.

As I said, the change.

I open my eyes and take a look at what I've written, only to make myself realize that I've survived all these weeks and I will survive all of them coming ahead as well.

week 1:

Yesterday, we had the talk. The one which was needed. But what disappointed me is, I thought that the talk would release the stress we had between us, but it did nothing what I thought it would, rather, the distance is just increasing. Maybe because it was just a one way conversation? maybe because It was only him speaking while I just stood there listening to what he had to say? But what could 1 do? neither did 1 have the strength in me nor did I have the courage to speak out.

Because what was the point? everything had already happened and nothing out of what I spoke would change any of it. So I did what I always do, just agree and go with the flow. And the flow was pretty fast to go with, but yet, I was trying my best.

from the very next day since they started dating. Shantanu proposed to sit with me and Mihika on alternate days. Reason? because they had very less time to spend with each other and she wanted to be with him more. And since I was his neighbor, we could practically hang out the entire day after school. Well, why alternate days? because he "couldn't let go of me completely in school." His words, not mine.

But that changed soon as well, because after a week of this alternate arrangement, he shifted beside Mihika permanently.

Why did he do so? because I asked him to.

Why did I ask him to? because even though he was beside me, he was mentally invested in her. He would still turn back and look at her, they would speak to each other in signals, pass chits, and every five minute break that we had before the teacher for the next class would arrive, he would go to her and run back as soon as the teacher arrives.

All of this could get them into trouble, and I didn't want that. Things would be much easier for them if they sat beside each other.

And about me? well, as he said, we were neighbors anyhow. We could hang out if we wanted to. And besides, him sitting beside me was making no great difference while all his attention was directed towards a certain beauty sitting at the back. So, to make things easier for both of us, I asked him to shift there permanently.