Kabanata 23
Woke up a little too late this morning. I wasn't able to prepare anything for him this morning and kahit for lunch dahil nga nalate akong gising.
Nagising nalang ako when I heard him walking down stairs.
When I tried to go after him, nakalabas na siya ng bahay, and I didn't bother na habulin pa siya. The sight of unmoved food sa table sa dining area made me feel like crying.
Napaupo nalang ako sa hagdanan. He didn't eat anything from what I cooked last night, wala ding bawas rice eh.
Pinunasan ko ang luhang nagbabadyamg pumatak mula sa mga mata ko nang marealize ko na his lunchbox was there sa lababo.
Sinilip ko iyon and walang laman! I was glad, kumain siya!
Tumayo ako agad to compose myself, magdadala nalang akong lunch niya sa office niya. Maybe he came home too late last night and he didn't have the energy to eat something?
Tas hindi naman siya talaga nag bbreakfast dito.
Haha gaslight pa sa sarili eh.
Nag-ayos ako agad ng aking sarili after kong makapag luto and makapag pack ng lunch for him. 1030 na and alam kong aabot naman ako sa lunch time niya.
While driving on the way to his office, hindi ko mapigilang huwag mapangiti, thinking na he was eating naman pala kahit papaano. The packed lunch was effective.
Minessage ko siya to inform him na papunta ako sa office niya to bring him lunch, pero as usual, walang reply.
Pag dating ko doon, I was still at the parking lot ah, kumakaway na sa akin iyong secretary ni Rafael.
"Hello po Ma'am Celeste!" Napakagat ako sa labi ko when I realized na dapat pala hindi ko sinabing papunta ako.
I could've handed him this food by myself.
"Pinapakuha ba ni Rafael?" I hesitantly asked pag-abot ko ng food.
"Ah opo, wala po kasi si Sir dito eh." He looked like he was telling the truth. "He's at the meeting po with his clients. Probably magllunch po sila ni Ma'am Cyna together ngayon. Si sir talaga makakalimutin sa updates." Nagkakamot pa ito ng ulo at nag-iiwas tingin sa akin nang marealize niyang clueless ako sa whereabouts ng asawa ko.
Magllunch sila ni Cyna ngayon?
"Saka Ma'am, thank you po pala sa palunch niyo kahapon ah. Sabi po ni Sir kahapon luto niyo 'yon at para sa amin 'yon kasi baka magstart kayong business?" Anang secretary ni Rafael na si Gerald. Nagbibiro pa ito pero kahit slight na kurba sa labi ko ay hindi ko magawang ipakita.
I was so happy because I thought he ate the food I cooked for him. At ang funny na, pinagkakalat na magsstart ako ng business, gago talaga 'yon.
I came home crying my eyes out sa nalaman ko. He hates me that much.
Hindi kami nag-uusap ever since that day that I came back here. Of course nagrerespond siya sa akin when I'm here kasi wala siyang choice.
Pero 'yun lang 'yun. Nothing more.
Napakagat ako sa labi ko. I'm pissed off. Lumipas nalang tuloy ang araw na nakatanga lang ako sa kwarto.
Inaantay pa rin ang pag-uwi niya.
And to my surprise, he came home earlier today. 7Pm palang nandito na siya.
Nangingibabaw ang inis sa akin ngayon at hinanap ko siya sa bahay, only to find him sa kitchen. Wearing a white sando, cooking for himself.
"Andaming food dito ah. Those weren't even leftovers kasi hindi ko din naman nagagalaw, kasi tumatanga ako habang yung food lumalamig kakaantay ko sa'yo!" I shouted, I can even feel my voice cracking and trembling from the anger I am feeling right now.
Ngunit nanatili lang siyang nakatalikod from me.
"Oh? Can't really do something I like dito sa bahay? While you're allowed to do what you want? Like, waste ingridients? Or cheat, or fuck, or to call your Uri late at night kasi ano? Landing landi?" Aniya lang habang patuloy sa ginagawa niya.
Nagsstart na naman magbuild up ang bwisit na mga luha sa mata ko, while I'm trembling from anger. Nagpapatong patong na 'yong musunderstandings na tinatry kong linawin sa kanya but he just believe me!
Bwisit na bwisit ako at nadampot ko ang mansanas dito sa lamesa, I fucking threw it off his back.
Napansin kong natigilan siya at ramdam kong nagalit siya sa ginawa ko pero wala akong pake.
"How dare you. Sana hindi mo nalang dinala 'yong packed lunch na ginawa ko kung hindi mo rin gagalawin! Kung ipapakain mo lang sa iba!" Napayuko nalang ako.
"Because you won't stop still, I'm so tired of you, Celeste! Hindi ka nakikinig, I already told you na nakakawalang gana ka! You kept doing those things for me nakakaurat!" Nanlambot ako sa mga sinabi niya at nagngangalib niyang tono towards me.
He wasn't facing me at all. Nanatili siyang nakatalikod sa akin habang sinasabi ang mga iyon.
Sunod sunod ang patak ng luha sa mga mata ko, ayokong humarap siya at makita ang kaawa awang itsura ko kaya nagmamadali akong lumabas ng bahay para umalis.
This shit is killing me. Magpapaliwanag man ako, hindi naman siya makikinig o maniniwala!
Nakakadiri naman pala talaga mga naiisip niya! Nakakainis naman kasi si Uri, kung ano anong sinabi sa harap ni Cyna!
Inihinto ko ang sasakyan ko sa gilid ng daan somewhere kalagitnaan sa fourlanes. I called Uri right away.
"Uri." I called.
"I already know."
Napakunot ang noo ko. "What?"
"I know everything you were just about to tell me." Aniyang muli.
Mariin akong napapikit. "That I'm married? That I'm fucking fucked up now?"
"Yes."
"How the fuck?" Sobrang confused kong tugon.
"Napilit ko si Cyna. But I can't fucking go there Celeste, and even so, hindi naman maniniwala si Rafael sakin. I have to date her, I have to date Cyna."
Natawa ako sa narinig. "You fucking kidding me?"
"Oo. Pag tapos na ang date na 'to for a week, she'll help you with Rafael. I'm making up for the damage Celeste."
"Oh God." Natatawa tawa kong singhap. "You know. Mas lalong nasira ng pretend natin yung buhay ko for you, para maiwasan si Cyna tapos ikaw mismo lumalapit pagapang kay Cyna ngayon?"
"It's your fault, 'di mo naman sinabi you were married!" Tumatawa din siya from the other line.
"Rafael kept repeating on me na cheater ako, na nakikipag fuck ako. Tang ina, without knowing na kadate ka ni Cyna!" I know this not the main reason why he was drifting away from me. It was Riguel, but this fucking thing made it spicier and harder to absorb.
Nakakafrustrate! But despite what happened earlier, I finally found a reason to just keep pursuing him.
Isang week nalang! Please. Help will come.
Cyna's really head over heels for Uri, she's going this far for Uri. Naaatim na masiraan ng ulo si Rafael! Damn obsessed and selfish na eabab!
