Kabanata 22
I woke up early to prepare meals for Rafael. His breakfast and ngayon pati narin his lunch. I've been doing this for almost a week now.
I wanted to do this for him, and I wanted to try explaining myself kapag mas okay na siya. I just want to be here with him, I have to. I'm going to prove him my love by sticking with him. I want to fix this.
Maybe it'll work. Maybe it won't. And if it won't work, I am well aware na of course it'll hurt.
But nothing could hurt more when thinking of the "What could've been if I tried?" kaya I'm gonna fucking try again hangga't kaya ko.
"Goodmorning," I shyly greeted, pababa palang siya ng hagdan.
Magulo pa ang buhok niya, but his clothes were nicely done.
Tiningnan niya lang akong bahagya at umakma ng lalabas ng bahay.
"Raf!" I called. "Breakfast ka muna." Sambit ko.
"'Di na." Maigsing tugon niya. Napalunok nalang ako, it's been going on like this for days. Nag ready nalang ako ng packed lunch niya ngayon which is hindi ko ginagawa the last few days.
"Edi ano, baon mo nalang 'to." Nagmamadali akong humabol sa kanya para iabot ang lunch bag niya.
"I don't need this."
"In case lang magutom ka, atleast you have something you can eat." Palalim nang palalim ang paghinga ko dahil sa kaba, please dalin mo na please please please.
It ended the way I wanted it to end. Dinala niya yung lunch na iniready ko.
When he left, nagstart na rin akong kumain ng nakangiti, dinal niya 'yong niluto ko. I have planned my day already.
Mag-aaral ako mag bake today.
Malapit na birthday niya and I wanted to surprise him with a cake na ako mismo ang magbbake kaya here I am with Aki, one of my friends here. Si Rita kasi ay nangibang bansa na and we only get to talk everytime na may sparetime pa kami for video calls.
Aki here is a baker talaga, she owns a cafe and she manages it here in Bataan.
"This is not for free. For all I know pag natuto ka mag bake, hindi ka na pupunta dito to buy!" Natawa nalang ako sa sinabi niya.
"Duh, I'm not going to bake for the rest of my life 'no! Mag-aaral lang ako mag bake for Rafael."
"Sweet." Non-chalant niyang asar, the usual Aki.
"Oh wait." Sambit ko nang mapansin ang phone kong puro notification na.
Nang tingnan ko 'yon ay napansin kong puro messages iyon galing kay Uri, actually 'nong nakaraang araw pa 'to. I got to read his messages pero, hindi rin naman ako nagrereply.
Uri:
What happened to you? I don't know where to find you, Celeste. Asaan ka ba? Are you okay?
Napakagat nalang ako sa labi ko.
Nagsimula akong magtype ng message for him.
Celeste:
Uri, I'll get back to you when I can. I'm okay.
"Huy g na." Tawag ni Aki. "Ano chat nalang kayo ni Rafael niyan?" Asar niya.
"Baliw." Utas ko. Sana nga! Eh hindi naman siya nagrereply sa akin.
Kapag nagmmessage ako, wala eh. Wala naman akong narreceive na reply.
I know he's ignoring my messages on purpose. Okay lang din sa akin na hindi siya nagrereply pero patagal nang patagal nasasaktan na ako eh, pero I chose this path so ok lang. Kaya ko pa.
