Kabanata 26
Rafael's POV
What's taking you so long Celeste.
Nagtype agad ako ng message for Celeste. I know very well how unconfortable this dinner is for her. I have to take her somewhere else.
Rafael:
Where are you? Let's go somewhere else?
Ilang minuto pa ang lumipas and I couldn't wait any longer because Riguel and Asthra weren't here with us.
I was just about to pave my way to the comfort room, kung saan palagay ko ay nandoon padin si Celeste, nakita kong pabalik na dito si Asthra mag-isa.
I felt my heart started to beat faster dahil kusang kung ano-ano nalang ang sumasagi sa isipan ko. Those thoughts stopped when I finally saw her coming out of the comfort room.
But then, nagigilan din ang mundo ko when I saw Riguel with her. He was dragging her out of the comfort room, not by force. She came with him dahil gusto niya.
Did I lost her to Riguel? Those were the exact words na nagsusumigaw sa isipan ko.
I was furious, I was frustrated, devastated and disappointed. I couldn't stand the thought na she went with Riguel that night, and she never reached out to me even once sa loob ng 3 months na hindi ako nagparamdam.
All I did in those 3 months ay umasang magpapaliwanag siya. Then I got tired of it, accepting that those things happened because she chose him, she chose to believe Riguel. Or maybe she still loves him and that thought made me feel completely not interested to her.
Dumagdag pa ang nalaman ko from Cyna.
He was dating a guy, started a relationship with that man Uri, 5 months ago.
Active pa sex life? Ayos ah.
I wanted to punch myself from believing that what we had was real. Tang ina. That was far from how I know her.
I was disgusted.
Bumalik lang siya nang nalaman niya ang nangyari kay Lola. I know very well that she's here because of the guilt she felt.
And to my surprise, I wasn't glad she came back.
Hindi ako masaya na nandito siya, everyday na naghahabol sa akin. I guess I really lost it when she left, not saying or explaining herself to me.
This is the exact opposite of the feelings I've always felt kapag nandito siya sa tabi ko.
Ayoko siyang makita, because she reminded me of how easy it is for people to just discard me, dahil 'yon ang ginawa nya.
Pinapaalala niya sa akin kung gaano karaming tao na ang pumili kay Riguel over me, because that too, was what she did.
It's just confusing kasi I know I still love her, but I just don't want to be with her anymore because imbis na makatakas ako sa mga napagdaanan ko ng problema dati, lalo lang napapaalala sa akin.
I don't want to be with her because it's draining me.
It's just not there anymore. I'm not scared to lose her again.
I also caught her talking to Uri.
