do & die [h.s]

f i v e

My alarm clock wasn't afire and there wasn't a single fist thrown to my door. The sun wasn't spiraling its usual rays of light through the pastel satin curtains and there surely wasn't a mere footstep sounding through the house, but none of that stopped me from jolting up in a cold sweat with an aching spine.

I groan, throwing the pale bed sheets over my eyes, squeezing them shut again, helplessly searching for the sleep that didn't seem to be catching up to me.

One sheep.

Two sheep.

Oh fuck it.

Zero sleep.

And before you ask, the answer is yes.

I am THE Dr. Suess.

No flash photography please.

I impatiently push the comforting duvet off my body and carelessly roll over, reaching for the phone I left laying on the nightstand last night after endlessly scrolling over the same twelve pictures on each media site.

I stare over the comically blinding screen for the time; 7:30am.

I sigh in relief as I realize I'm not as late as I feared. Just fifteen minutes past my usual time.

I stretch out my stiff limbs, an over exaggerated moan escaping my mouth and I giggle as I get out of bed.

I lazily throw the covers over my untidy bed to hide the mess and feel a small smile make its way to lips as I hear voices downstairs; assuring me I'm not alone.

I slide open my closet doors, eyes scanning the wardrobe for any clothes I haven't already worn this week or the week before. I stare a little too long at a at a long coffee coloured cardigan for my liking and nod, pulling it out along with a plain white tank top and a pair of run down high waisted black shorts.

Tank top? Jake.

I toss the clothes onto the bed and plop beside them, rubbing my temples with either thumb as I place my face into my hands and contemplate my few remaining options.

I'm afraid that if I don't show up now, I'll end up regretting it in the near future.

It seems like he could hurt me. And I know that when I say he could hurt me, I mean he could and would really hurt me.

A light knock rhythmically playing on my door trips me from my thoughts.

In other words, I am now on the floor.

"Oh.." Evan says as he enters the room, already dressed and peering at me with a confused look, probably wondering what the hell his little sister is doing on the ground so early in the morning again. "I thought you were still asleep," he shrugs, rubbing his eyes shut, deciding to drop the subject.

"Well hurry up and get dressed. I don't want to be late," He yawns before closing the door again and heading down the hall to his 'man cave', leaving me alone with my clouded mind again.

I sit still for a few seconds, thinking over the options I've got.

Just hurry up and go now. He's probably already mad at me for being so late, no need to fuel the fire.

Don't show up at all. He doesn't own you. Bitch, you don't need no man. That would probably only make him madder and risk someone getting hurt. And I'm really in no position to be the cause of either.

Pretend to be sick. Don't go to school. Problem solved. I'm a disgrace to the drama department.

Just tell Harry. No. No, I'm keeping him out of this. All of it.