My name's not Velseir

Chapter 20: [In their absence]

Katorn's pov:

I left the room not wanting to stay there and watch velseir be so attached to someone else. I understand that she is a great person and of course velseir would love her but I couldn't stand how useless all this was making me feel.
I held kesey in my arms for some comfort, at least I still had him.

Once again we were waiting for Irogana's verdict and the waiting was killing me all over again. When she finally came out of the room velseir was resting contently in the crook of her arm.
"I didn't have a chance to explain the situation to you before this little guys impromptu outburst." Irogana started booping him on his nose causing his face to scrunch up.
"What do you mean explain? Why was he drinking you blood?"
"That's what I was going to tell you about before we were interrupted. When he first woke up he bit me and drew blood. However after consuming a bit of it he started getting better. His fever began to subside for the first time since you brought him in. The reason he was crying for me was because I had cut myself and he wanted blood."
"Wait a moment. Why does he want blood in the first place? Is it somehow helping? But what is causing it?"
"That I'm not sure if yet, but as you can see it is helping. I don't know if it's just my blood or any blood but if like to try him with yours if you're comfortable with it."
"I'll try it if it will help. I just want him to get better."
"We all do. Once we get the result I'll know better how to deal with the situation?"
I was relieved that it wasn't that velseir just liked her more than me and that it was probably more to do with the dependency than anything. I allowed Irogana to cut my arm to expose blood and although velseir reacted it wasn't as volatile as when he smelled hers. Maybe he wasn't hungry after drinking so much of hers but even still we tried getting him to drink. After coaxing him a little bit he did drink a little bit but he just ended up spitting it out.

Maybe he really doesn't like me, does he?

"Interesting. It must be something to do with my species after all. I will keep him here for now and try and research a way to permanently stabilise him."
"Ok, I'll go home for now do you need kesey? I wanted to get him checked out with velseir originally but with the current situation..."
"I'll take him. I'd like to check out the modifications done to him and see if any of it can help me with velseir."

I left the lab without them. We had entered as four and left as two. The ride home was eerily quiet I had nothing to say but a lot on my minde. Avranga seemed down but I was too busy in my own head to try and help her in some way.

The silence followed us into the house as we both went our separate ways.
Avranga grabbed something from the kitchen and went to her room. I on the other hand went to the living space to try and tidy up as everything has been left as it was.

The previously joyfully mess had become become an eerie reminder of the events from the previous night. I cleaned up the space and almost all evidence of their being here was gone. I went and sat in my office to try and get some of the paperwork I had been putting off done.

My numerous attempts were thwarted one by one for the duration of an hour. I finally gave up once I realised that I could not stop my gaze from wondering over to their nest still nestled in the corner of the bookshelves. They had not been in the house for very long nor had they been in my life that long either but now any space they don't occupy feels empty.

I miss them.

Perhaps I shouldn't have mentioned leaving Kesey with her too. I mean if I at least had him I wouldn't be so lonely. No. I couldn't do that to velseir, he needs him more than I do right now. He's in yet another new place it would be too cruel to let him be alone on top of that. Especially after all he has been through.

I've been selfish with them, if not for me they could have seen Irogana sooner and might even have been reverted to their original states in preparation for being sent back to their home planet. Thinking about all of that is pointless. I made my choice and now we have to deal with the consequences of my actions.

After wallowing in self putty for at least two hours Avranga came into my office to tell me to get some sleep. Langrish had stayed over at his life mates gravni house and wouldn't be coming back until dinnertime later today. Although I hated to admit it I needed sleep. I hadn't slept since we woke up on the ship to get ready for landing. That was over a rotation and a cycle ago (a day and a half roughly 45hrs).

I went upstairs to my room it was exactly how I had left it baring the luggage crates from the ship being strewn about. I really don't want to deal with this right now but I can't exactly find peace in a messed up room. I moved the boxes that were on my bed first. It was all of my belongings that was in them. I mostly had clothes and a few other personal items I like to keep with me on long missions. Once that had been taken care of I moved onto the box on the floor. I was so tempted to just push it out of sight under the bed and move on but I decided that it was better to get it out of the way rather than make it future me's problem.

I pulled out the box from the corner that I had so haphazardly placed it in and put it on my bed for easier organising. I had thought it was another box of my things but when I opened it it was full of their stuff. Just as I was finally putting the situation out of my head I got a reminder that they're not here. I closed the box back up and slid it under the bed. I still had one other box to sort but I was no longer In the mood to deal with anything let alone organising a box that could wait.

Falling backwards into the bed I once again tried to put the events out of my mind. I don't remember when I fell asleep but when I finally woke up a full cycle had passed since I blacked out.

I checked my coms seeing a few messages I hadn't read yet two from Langrish, one from Avranga and two from a data code I didn't have saved. It was Irogana......

*************************

Hello darlings hope you had a wonderful valentine's day. I know this chapter was a little depressing but I hope you enjoyed it all the same. Hope you have a good rest of your night.