an: you guys are the only reason why i'm still on this app. i honestly think this chapter is boring as hell, but i'm feeding you guys with an eren and y/n moment next few chapters stay tuned!!
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You twirl your phone around your fingers, lying with your head pressed into the pillow. Your eyes fixate on the last message you sent Eren three days ago, your mind spinning with reasons for his silence.
Could he be angry at you? Was the first thought that came to your mind. At least you ended up texting him instead of leaving him hanging, so he has no reason to be upset.
You tapped on the text as the keyboard appeared on your screen. With your thumb hovering across the letters, you pondered whether you should follow it up with another message.
Deciding that you had too much pride to double-text him, you swiped away your messages. If he decided not to respond to your message, then so be it.
You force yourself upright, promising that today you'll finally make it to university after three days of hiding away. You haven't left your room except for bathroom breaks or to scavenge for snacks when hunger struck. Even your aunt's patience is wearing thin; her irritation grows with every hour you linger in the house.
The tension presses down on your mind, heavy and suffocating. Any minute now, you expect her to barge in and complain about your lack of contribution, conveniently forgetting that you already sacrifice part of your university grant to help with the bills.
The idea of stepping outside fills you with dread. What if everyone already knows what Floch did? He's too well known, too eager to twist the story, painting you as the villain who used him for his kindness and hospitality.
You were not prepared to encounter the constant 'whore' and 'gold digger' allegations, and having a bad reputation at university was the worst thing you could do for yourself.
What if that was the reason why Eren hasn't replied to your message in three whole days? He probably thought of you as some whore and wanted nothing to do with you.
The thought claws at you, making you want to scream or disappear into the earth. Your heart pounds, desperate for release, but the tears refuse to come. Instead, you fumble through your drawer, past makeup and perfume, until your fingers close around the Xanax Sasha gave you yesterday.
Usually, you kept to one, but today was the worst you've ever felt in a long time, and you weren't sure if you would be able to function today without a higher dosage. Placing two into your mouth as you swallowed them dry, you closed your eyes for a minute, breathing in and out to soothe your heart.
"It's all in my head," you whispered to yourself.
Sighing loudly, you got up weakly and unplugged your AirPod Max, also picking up your leather tote bag and checking to see if you had your laptop and textbooks in there. Putting on your Adidas spezial shoes, you checked yourself in the mirror one last time, adjusting your maxi skirt and tracing your fingers along your hair before putting on your glasses to conceal the eye bags you had under your eyes.
