Betrayal

Chapter 26

My eyes focus on the trees. The train is going along at a fast pace. The scenery is beautiful, lush and green, and the sky is bright blue. I haven't really stopped smiling since I boarded.

A text message around four this morning told me he was heading in to the city and he would meet me at my apartment sometime in the evening. In my purse was a bundle of hundred dollar bills, seven of them, and a note. He must've snuck into our room and left them there at some point between the night and when he left. I have the note in my hands now and stare down at his handwriting.

Use the money for your train ticket and for whatever else you need. I'll bring takeout and some wine. Can't wait to see you.

- Warren

I fold it back up and rub at my smile. I shouldn't be smiling so much. It's making my face hurt. It's so fucking foreign to feel this happy and excited about something. After last night, when we were interrupted by Lola, I've been constantly aroused by thoughts of him and what we're going to do tonight. I wonder if he's feeling the same. I think he is, but I try not to assume to know how he's feeling.

The lie I concocted was very believable and Dominic didn't question me. A water break in my apartment that was urgent and needed immediate attending to. I told him I'd be gone for a few days at the least cleaning and trying to salvage my things.

I peek into my purse and stare at what's left of the money. He gave me far too much and I know he did that on purpose. The ticket only costed around fifty dollars. I won't use the rest of it and plan to give it back to him tonight... even if I could certainly use it.

I stare back out of the windows. It's another hour until we reach Manhattan. I'd expected the train to be louder than it is. It's really quiet and there aren't many people on it. I'm sure at the end of the summer it'll be packed.

I don't even want to think of the end of the summer. Our future is incredibly uncertain. We haven't spoken about it and in a month and a half, summer will be over. We'll go back to the city at the same time, but I have no idea if we'll still see each other. He isn't going to leave his wife. I don't expect him to, even if there's a big part of me that hopes he'll do it. Leave her and be with me. We can run away together. I would do it without question.

I can't think like that. It's an impossibility.

It is and I know it. I check my phone for the hundredth time to see if he's messaged me, but he hasn't. I'm sure he's incredibly busy performing surgeries and saving lives. I think he's an incredible human and he's so god damn handsome. Like a perfect package of a man that I'm somehow sleeping with. And fallen in love with.

I close my eyes and rest my forehead to the glass.

...

It's nearly eight.

I've cleaned my apartment. It was covered in dust and took what felt like forever. I changed the sheets on my bed and have it made up perfectly. My floral comforter wasn't in the bed shape so I took it to the laundry room and washed it. I never make my bed. But I want him to see my place put together. It's embarrassing enough how small it is.

I've also vacuumed and lit candles. It smells of vanilla, with a low undertone of the cleaning products I've used. It's tidier and cleaner than it's probably ever been. He's texted and said he's on his way over now. My nerves are shot. I'm so excited to see him and am waiting impatiently. My apartment is on the ground floor of my building and I keep looking out my front window.

It's a bad area. There's drug deals that happen on the corners, broken down cars, convenience stores that have been robbed frequently, and hardly any streetlights. I don't go out at night and it doesn't even really feel safe half the time to go out during the day. And from my window I can see someone sleeping on the stoop across the street. It's a stark difference to where he lives. East Harlem and Gramercy Park are two different worlds.