Betrayal

Chapter 43

Warren

It's a hot September afternoon and I'm pounding the pavement. I pull my shirt off and wipe my forehead with it, then sling it over my shoulder. I've run at least three miles now. I'm almost to Chelsea.

I've got Radiohead playing over my ear buds on shuffle. One of my favorite bands. Street Spirit.

I continue to run until I've reached the apartment building, then stop in front of it. I wipe more sweat off of myself and pant as I stare up at it. It towers over me and I think of her even though she doesn't live here anymore. I don't know where she lives now.

Because I co-signed, they called me when she was trying to break the lease. It knocked me for a loop that she wanted to leave, but I agreed to have the contract terminated and to pay to have the lease broken. It made my stomach sink and made me feel sick, but I did it anyway. She wanted it, so I gave it to her. It was the last thing tying me to her in a way. I figured she wanted to free from me. That hurt, but I understood.

Even now, I think of the last time I saw her. I can't imagine how hurt she must've been when I didn't show up to take her to that appointment. I was in the hospital, recovering from my heart attack. It was a mild one. I have to take blood thinners and I've cut my drinking down substantially, as well as my smoking. I was just out of the hospital when I got the call about the apartment.

I left at the end of April. Left Rebecca, moved out, got my own place. I couldn't bear it. Being in love with someone else and staying with my wife. It wasn't fair to her. I was too tired to keep doing it.

I saw the way she would look at me. That disgust. After I recovered it was still there, as it should have been. She was never going to forgive me. The way she would question me when I worked an overnight to help in the ER after I was able to work again. If I was in a surgery and couldn't answer her texts or calls. Or out on a run. She brought up what happened constantly and she had every right to. I would apologize, but it wasn't enough. The damage was done. No saving it.

I didn't seek Ali out. She wanted to be away from me. If she didn't, she would've stayed in that apartment. I know Rebecca is thankful I'm not with her. She asked me if I was leaving her to be with Ali, if I'd been seeing her again, if I'd been talking to her. I told her no. She asked if I loved her. I lied and said no. She asked if there was someone else. No.

After I've caught my breath, I start back for home. I've always run, but I do it more now than I ever did. Good for the heart. I'm only forty-six. Not ready to die yet. I have to take better care of myself. I have four kids and a grandchild.

I take a shower and get dressed when I make it home. The maid has cleaned the apartment. It's spotless. It was supposed to be my weekend to have Ella and Wyatt, but Rebecca wanted to take them to visit her parents. I agreed.

But I'm babysitting Lola's son tonight. It's her first time leaving him with me or anyone else. When she asked I jumped at the chance and cleared my work schedule.

Making up wasn't easy. Especially after I left Rebecca. That only made her angrier at me. I was relentless with texting and calling her. I sent gifts for the baby when I found out she was having a boy. I sent money, cards. Eventually, she showed up here in April right before her due date. We talked through it all. I explained my reasonings for doing what I did, not that they could ever be justified, and apologized profusely.