Betrayal

Chapter 19

Ali

I told him too much.

This singular thought repeats itself in my mind as I lay in bed. I'm trying to read a book, but can't focus on any of the words. It's hard to concentrate. Eventually I toss it aside and spread my body out as far as I can get it on the bed.

I'm still sore from our last night together. Even deeper I'm sore from last night. Not getting what I wanted and needed. Our talk on the beach. Revealing so much to someone I barely know. It hurts in so many different ways.

I'm starting to trust him. It just doesn't feel safe to do that. Not with him. He's just a man I'm fucking. A married man. The father of my boyfriend. It could never be anything other than that. Yet I'm telling him deeply personal things about myself. Things I've never told anyone else. Shit I've barely faced. Private, intimate things.

He just made me feel so at ease last night. Like he wanted to know and listen to me. Learn about me in a way no one else has ever tried to. I know it's because he's older and more emotionally mature than Dominic. He doesn't know much about my upbringing. Just that my mother isn't in my life for reasons I haven't talked to him about.

And I know a little more about him now, too. I wasn't expecting us to talk the way we have. It was just supposed to be sex. I can feel myself starting to develop more feelings for him than just wanting sex. It scares the shit out of me.

I wonder if we should just end it now. I could go home. Cut it off before I start to really care about him more. He seems so easy to care for. The last thing I could handle is falling for someone who would never reciprocate those feelings.

I'm not going to leave. I have to get a grip on myself and remember what this is. Just sex. Nothing more, nothing less. We've fucked twice. Kissed much more than that. Talked. Started this nefarious affair. I have to accept that one day it'll end and it'll be easier if I have no feelings attached to him.

As if he can sense that I'm thinking about him, my phone dings with a text from him.

W: Hi. Haven't seen you this morning. Are you feeling okay after last night?

I sigh and let my thumbs hover over the screen. I feel like shit, really. But I don't want to say that.

I'm okay. Thanks for asking.

W: Good. I've booked another room at the American Hotel for today. Four o'clock.

My stomach does a flip. I bite my bottom lip so hard it hurts. What should I tell Dominic? What did he tell his wife? Does it not raise suspicion in her when he disappears for a few hours? What lie did he tell her? I'm not good at this.

I don't know what to say to him or how to get away.

He's quick to respond.

W: Just tell him you need to be alone. You're not feeling well or something like that. Find an excuse. I'll see you at four.

He's very cut and dry. I bite my thumbnail now and climb out of bed. I've showered, but haven't put clothes on. I'm in one of Dominic's t-shirts. I don't know what to wear. But I've got time to decide. It's only noon now.

Dominic was up early. He told me while I was half asleep that he was going for a run with Warren. I'm sure he's been back for a while now. I think of what to do right now, then decide I should probably find him and start setting up that I'm not feeling well. The thought makes me feel guilty, but not enough to keep me from doing it.