Becoming Miss Visible

Chapter 20

Dalton was confused and frustrated because he wanted to remember his life but he couldn't. SInce their house had burned down my mom said that Carla and Dalton could stay with us. Carla was a wreck. She was trying to put a strong front on in front of Dalton, but he knew that she was very upset.

My mom didn't like the intrusion, but she tried to be nice. Most of the time she was out and about until after everyone had gone to bed, so it really didn't matter to her.

Bailey didn't really understand why Peter was gone. She couldn't understand the concept of death. When dad died, she figured he was gone on another business trip. I understood why she thought that. Dad would be gone for so long that she barely knew who he was. But Pete was another story. Pete had become her best friend, and she couldn't understand why she couldn't understand why she couldn't see her best friend anymore. Everyone tried to help her understand, but she just couldn't and it broke my heart seeing her so confused.

Dalton was hard to be around at times, but I tried my best to do what I could for him. It was hard to try to jog his memory without pictures or somewhere familiar.

But today was the funeral. I hated the fact that today we were burying someone that was only four years old. It just doesn’t seem right or fair. But when is life ever right or fair?

Carla, Dalton, Bailey, and I were ushered into a black limo that my mom rented for the funeral (she has a soul, who knew). Mom wasn’t coming but she did do a great job with arraigning the flowers for the funeral.

I looked over at Dalton to see him staring at a picture of Pete that he had in his wallet. He had a pained expression on his face and I wanted to reach out and grab his hand, give him some sort of comfort that I could. But I didn’t because since he woke up he has been keeping his personal space.

I decided that I didn’t care what he felt he needed, he looked so lost and helpless and I decided to be his lifeline today, as he had been mine when I needed him most.

I reached over and gently grabbed of his hands in my own. He looked startled at first, but when he squeezed my hand, I knew that I had made the right decision.

The service was pretty much identical to the one that was held for my dad, the difference being that Pete was a four year old. The size of size tiny casket made me sick. I smiled and cried at Carla’s words of love for her youngest son.

“Peter Elijah Worth was born into this world a happy bouncy baby. He was as cute as he could be and was attached to his older brother at the hip. They would play together until Pete would have to go to bed, and a lot of times I heard them playing even though lights were supposed to be out. I used to wonder why my husband, Phil, was taken from me at such an early age, but now I do. I know he was sent up to Heaven early to get ready for Pete. And I’m happy to say that Phil can finally hold his baby boy.” Carla started to sob, but she took a deep breath and continued.

“Pete, I love you with all my heart. You made life more special than I thought it could ever be. I know I worked a lot, but those moments that I got to spend with you and your brother I will cherish in my heart forever. You were and will always be my little man. Say hi to your daddy for me. I love you son.” Carla sobbed as she came down from the podium. She crashed into my arms and I held her for all I was worth.

When I looked back to the podium I saw that Dalton now stood in the place his mother had occupied moments before.  

“Hello, for those of you who don’t know, I’m Dalton Worth, Pete’s big brother. What most of you may not know is that I can’t remember my little brother. I can’t remember his smile, or his laugh. All I have is this picture of us that was taken a couple months ago. Even though I can’t remember him, I want to say some things as any good brother should do. Pete, I wish I could remember you buddy, I wish that we would have had many more years to create memories together and have fun. You were too young Pete, and even though I will never understand why this happened, I promise I will keep your picture with me always. Hopefully I will remember all the good times that we have had together. No matter if I do or do not remember buddy, know this I love you with all my heart and I’m so sorry that I couldn’t protect you like a good brother should.” I couldn’t help but sob at Dalton’s words, this was so hard for him.

Dalton returned to his seat and I pulled him to me and Carla, Dalton, and I all cried for the remainder of the service. When it was over we headed back to the limo waiting to take is to the grave site.  We all sat in silence, except for the occasional sniffles.

The grave site service was short, but heartfelt. Carla and requested that we put daisies on his grave instead of roses because he always liked to pick them and give them to her. She thought it was fitting that she give some back to him.

Peter was buried next to his father. When I looked up at the sky, I noticed the clouds had started to thicken and I couldn’t help but think that the world was grieving with us.

We were ushered back to the limo as the first drops of rain started to fall. We had all made it to the car, but when I looked around I noticed that Dalton was missing.

“I’ll be right back.” I told everyone, and retraced my steps to the grave.

I found Dalton on his knees in front of the fresh grave, soaking wet with his head in his hands. I walked up to him and put my hand on his shoulder. He looked up at me through a daze. I helped him to his feet and pulled him into a hug.

“We should get back. The others are waiting for us.” I said, finally. He nodded, but didn’t say anything. My heart hurt for him and all I wanted to do was take his pain away from him. But unfortunately that was not going to happen.

We returned home with heavy hearts. Lunch had been made and left for us by family friends. Each one had a card filled with condolences, but there were no words to describe the pain in the Worth family right now.

We all ate lunch and then Carla and Dalton went to take a nap. After putting the leftovers away Bailey and I followed suit. We all dreamed about the little boy who had been so swiftly taken from us.