Hold On I Still Need You

-Healing Hearts-

Sophie's POV:

The atmosphere is calm now. Despite the chaos we've experienced, our lives have settled into a peaceful state, though it's not the serene peace I had envisioned. Keefe and I are perched on a high balcony, gazing at the night sky painted in deep blues and purples. Stars twinkle in the distance, but their beauty seems subdued. We've both endured so much. The weight of our experiences hangs between us like an invisible thread, tugging at my chest, and I sense that Keefe feels it too. His usual smile is not as bright as usual. His eyes still sparkle, but there's a hint of uncertainty that reflects my own feelings.

We both remain silent for a moment, needing the quiet to collect our thoughts. I sense that he wants to say something to comfort me, as he has done before, but there is a noticeable hesitation in his actions. Keefe is no longer the carefree person I once knew, and I have changed as well.

We both sit in silence for a moment, taking in the quiet to gather our thoughts. I can tell he wants to say something to comfort me, as he has in the past, but there's a noticeable hesitation in his actions. Keefe isn't the carefree person I once knew, and I've changed too.

Keefe turns to me, his eyes meeting mine. His expression is gentle yet cautious as he asks, "Are you okay?" His voice is hesitant, as if he's unsure of how I'll respond, but his concern is evident in his gaze. I can tell he wants to support me, even though he's dealing with his own struggles. He's never been good at handling his emotions, especially after all he's been through, but he's making an effort. And right now, that's all I need.

I wish I could say that everything is fine now, that the weight of everything I've been through has magically lifted. But it hasn't. Some days, I wake up with my mind still tangled in nightmares I can't escape, feeling an overwhelming urge to go back to how things were before - before the fighting, before the losses, before the war, before everything changed.

How do you return to a life you can't recall? A life where everything was simpler? I'll make an effort. I hang out with friends, take on everyday life, but there's always a lingering doubt. What if I can't feel normal again? What if the pieces of me that were shattered in recent years are irreparably broken?

The smallest things haunt me - flashes of battles fought in dark corners of my mind, the screams of those I couldn't save, the weight of responsibility that crushes me every time I think about how many lives were affected by everything I couldn't control. Every time I close my eyes, I'm back there, fighting, losing, failing. And I don't know how to let go of that.

Keefe doesn't pressure me to talk. He never has. It's like he knows that pushing me too hard would only make it worse. I need to come to him when I'm ready. I appreciate that, even if it means our conversations feel uncertain, like we're both walking on eggshells. When we do talk, I can tell he's afraid to say the wrong thing, to remind me of something I don't want to remember. Yet, when he does speak, it's always the right thing. His words are soft but full of understanding.

Sometimes he says, 'Whenever you're ready,' and even though I'm uncertain when that will be, those words bring me comfort. It's as if he's creating a safe space for me to heal, and I don't know if I can ever fully express how much that means to me. For now, I'll cherish this support.

Keefe is more than the carefree, sarcastic persona he portrays. I've always sensed that, but lately, I'm discovering new facets of his character each day. Despite the challenges we've faced together—the losses, and the constant fear of separation—Keefe is still on a journey of healing, and I can see the struggles he faces. I never fully grasped the weight he carries, even though I've caught glimpses of it. The moments when his smile doesn't quite reach his eyes, or when he withdraws into himself in the midst of chaos. His own wounds run deeper than I ever realized.