WITHOUT YOU ||Vmin ff

CHAPTER 21

I began to pray for miracle

They supposedly happen all the time, I'd read about them in newspapers. People regaining use of their limbs after being told they'd never walk again, or somehow surviving a terrible accident when all hope was lost.

"I don't know what to do," I said numbly, staring into the dim light of my bedroom lamp. My mom and I were sitting on my bed. It was coming up on the end of January the most difficult month of my life, and I knew that in February things would only get worse.

"I know this is hard for you," she murmured, "but there's nothing you can do.

" I don't mean about jimin being sick I know there's nothing I can do about that. I mean about jimin and me. "

My mother looked at me sympathetically. She was worried about jimin, but she was also worried about me. I went on.
" It's hard for me to talk to him. All I can do when I look at him is think about the day when I won't be able to. So I spend all my time at school thinking about hi, wishing I could see him right then, but when I get to his house, i don't know what to say. "

" I don't know if there's anything you can say to make him feel better. "

" Then what should I do ?"
She looked at me sadly and put her arm around my shoulder. " You really love him, don't you, " she said.

" With my whole heart. "
She looked as sad as I'd ever seen her. " What's your heart telling you to do?"
" I don't know. "
"Maybe, " she said gently, "you're trying too hard to hear it. "

The next day I was better with jimin, though not much. Before I'd arrived, I'd told myself that I wouldn't say anything that might get him down that I'd try to talk to him like i had before and that's exactly how it went. I sat myself on his couch and told him about some of my friends and what they were doing, i caught him up on the success of the basketball team; I told him that i still hadn't heard from UNS, but that i was hopeful I'd know within the next few weeks. I told him I was looking forward to graduation. I spoke as though he's be back to school following weeks.

"How are you feeling?" I asked a couple days later. By now jimin had lost more weight. His skin was beginning to take on a slightly grayish tint, and the bones in his hands were starting to show through his skin. Again i saw bruises. We were inside his  house in living room, the cold was too much for him to bear .

Despite all this, he still looked beautiful.
"I am doing okay" he said ,smiling valiantly the doctors have given me some medicine for the pain and it seems to help little.
I'd been coming by everyday. Time seemed to be slowing down and speeding up at exactly the same time.

One Friday night i bought him over for dinner at my house. My mom joined us for the main course, then left the table and set in the den so that we could be alone.

It was nice there sitting with jimin he had not been living his house much and this was a good chance for him.

"Thank you for coming over tonight,"  I said
he turned his attention back to me "thanks for inviting me ."

I paused "how your father holding up?"
Jimin sighed."not too well i worry about him a lot."
"He loves you dearly you know."
" I know,"
" So do I," i saod when I did he looked away. Hearing me say this seemed frighten him again.
"Will you keep coming over to my house?" He asked. " Even later, you know, when ?"
I squeezed his hand, not hard, but enough to let him know that I meant what I said.
"As long as you want me to come, i'll be there."
He smile " you are a good friend Taehyung i don't know what i'd do without you."
He squeezed my hand returning the favor. Sitting across from me,he looked radiant.

"I love you, jimin," i said again, bit this time he was not frightened . Instead our eyes met across the table ,and i watched as him began to shine. He sighed and looked away, running his hands through his hair,then turned to me again. I kissed his hand smiling in return.