since.

comedy.

songs

on || (pause) for now because my spotify isn't working... now back to your regularly scheduled program.

//

i give cleo the "we'll talk later" look and get off the floor. philip sets down his bookbag and plops down on the beanbags in the middle of our room. i go and sit down next to him and cleo joins us, her face slowly returning to it's normal shade. and we just sit there for a few minutes, taking each other in and not saying a word.

philip's hair is a tangled mess, as usual, but it seems like it's gotten darker? that may just be the light. his hair may seem darker, but he definitely has more freckles. he has his glasses on for once and it makes his dark blue eyes seem bigger, but it also lets me see the dark circles under his eyes. philip has scabs on his hand from where he's bit at his hand so much it's bled and formed a scar. has he been worried about something?

i stop obsessing over philip's mental state to study cleo. am i going to see her differently now that i know she's been seeing a girl? cleo's dark black hair is done up in an intricate braid. her brown eyes are lined with kohl. she told me it's tradition of her ancestors. they came from jordan and were a part of the bedouin. i think she told me they came to america because of the harsh treatment of women in the middle east. cleo's skin drastically tanned over the summer, but she looks the same to me. Thank God, i was worried i had picked up bad morals from kit or something.

she glances down at her phone and quickly gets up,
"i have to go but i'll see you two later." cleo runs out as philip calls out behind her,
"does this mean no movie night? drat i guess it's just the thre- er two of us."

alex used to have movie night with philip and I and this will be my first one without him. i can do this. i go into the kitchen to make some popcorn while philip picks out the movie.

"pick a comedy philip!"
"what's the problem with a drama?"
"you're already too dramatic."

we end up watching mulan. philip is a sucker for a disney movie and this one was my favorite when i was a kid. i was always inspired by how mulan had the courage to cut off her hair and join the army to save her father. i emerge myself in the movie and squeeze philip's hand during the final scene. i'm surprised to touch my face when it's over and find it wet. i cried over shae and didn't even realize.

at least one of us gets to be with someone we thought was dead.

\\

perrin is okay with disney but she's not philip obsessed. sort of like me. i love the animation, not so much the story. i hope this story isn't messing with you like it's messing with me.