since.

friends.

songs

drag me down - one direction <3

sleep paralysis - bad suns

snap out of it - arctic monkeys

flashing lights - kanye west

//

how could he read me so plainly? this stranger just completely read my worries after only knowing me for a few days. i completely ignored the people who cared about me and only focused on alex. not that i regret the time i spent with him, but i was the bad friend. and then i killed alex.

i whisper to kit, "i'm sorry."
a surprised look comes onto his face. "for what?" he asks.
"for being self absorbed, or should i say alex absorbed, and not seeing you. also for this," i pull his shirt close to me and kiss his cheek. he smells like black currant and i find myself not gagging. i thought he would smell more like a tree or something.

i see out of the corner of my eye that philip jolts up in his seat. serves him right. when i pull away, kit looks even more confused,
"what was that?"
"i didn't think my actual apology was significant enough of how much it meant to me..."
"does this mean we're-"
"don't get the wrong idea."
"friends," he elbows me with a grin on his face, "don't get the wrong idea."
"i take back my apology."

i spend the next hour listening about polarization of atoms. this is the one class i don't really struggle with. i just get chemistry. kit, on the other hand, seems to be having trouble keeping up. his pen is scrawling across the paper. i just assumed he slacked off in all his classes. to be honest, i don't know anything about him. for lords sake, we met yesterday. and i've already given him a kiss on the cheek? what's up with me?

i hardly talk to other people, none the less, open up to them. but there's just something about him that makes it easy for me to talk to him. maybe i should try and get to know him more.

"damn this class is riding my ass," kit mutters once class is over. an idea pops in my head, "i can help tutor you if you'd like. i can't today because-" holy shit, i forgot about cleo. she must have so much to tell me and i haven't even texted her since she left yesterday.

he finishes my sentence, "-you forgot to do something. it's cool i'll just text you when i'm free."
"okay sounds good," i respond,"you don't have my number though!"

but he's already gone.

\\

one direction's new song is my life rn. i leave for el savador sunday so i will have one more update until the next week, but i'll try and write while i'm gone.