After I took some time alone in the bathroom, I gathered everyone up, including Rusty, and asked if we stay at a motel tonight.
"I don't mind," Eddie said, and everyone pretty much agreed.
"But, is it okay if I ask why?" Mike asked.
I pondered his question.
I want to be alone with Eddie.
"I don't know, just enjoy spending time in Utah." I smiled and they all bought it, but Eddie gave me this skeptical, amused look.
He knew. He always knew.
So we packed our bags for the night, and Rusty drove us to the nearest Super 8 motel.
"So, how do you want to split up the rooms?" Donny asked me.
"You and Jordan together, Mike and Jeff together, Stone and Dave together, and I want to be with Eddie."
"So...you guys are together now?" Jordan asked shyly.
I looked at Eddie, and he said,
"No, we secretly hate each other, actually,"
He winked at me, and I ran towards him and gave him a kiss on the lips.
My heart was happy knowing I was loved.
"Ugh, please, stop," Stone said.
"I'm sorry, Stone, I just think that we should see other people," Eddie told him.
Stone just rolled his eyes.
We were at the lobby area paying for our rooms, which I payed for. Once we arrived at our rooms we dropped our things off and went to get some dinner.
We ate at a bar and ended up getting drunk as hell.
"Hey you guys wanna see my Robert Plant impression??" I giggled.
Eddie's arms were wrapped around me holding beer in the other, with the boys surrounding us. Beers in their hands.
"YES!" They cheered. So I got up on the bar, and flipped my hair back. I unbuttoned some flannel buttons, attempting to show off my chest like Percy did.
I danced around, and sang Stairway To Heaven.
"There's a lady who's sure, all that glitters is gold, and she's buying a Stairway To Heaven..."
Eddie was laughing his ass off, and the rest of the boys were just baffled by my crazy impression.
"Ma'am, can you please get down?"
"Of course, darling," I said in an English accent. I hopped right into Eddie's arms, and was surprised he could catch me.
"I love you," I told him.
"I love you, too," Eddie said.
Rusty picked us up about an hour later and took us back to the motel. We all said our goodnights and headed to our rooms.
Once me and Eddie were alone, I embraced him and kissed him with everything I had.
We were on the bed together, rolling around, kissing, and even laughing.
Once we were done horsing around, he held me in his arms. We snuggled up in the blankets together, and I've never felt so safe in my entire life.
"Eddie... Why do you love me?"
"I fell in love with you getting to meet you. I don't exactly know what it was but I found you unbelievably beautiful, inside, out. You're just funny as hell but also very very wise, and I admire that."
"I fell in love with you."
He's in love with me.
Was I in love with him yet? Or was it infatuation?
I shifted my head so I could look into his eyes.
"I'll never love myself," I said.
"And I'll never love myself, but that's okay. We'll love eachother and it'll be okay."
And then, I felt something, in my very soul.
Something was screaming,
Yes, you're in love with the fucker!
And, I was. It wasn't infatuation. Getting to know him is an adventure, talking to him is almost spiritual, and kissing his lips was the most peaceful thing in the world.
He was interested in politics, something I wasn't. And he was honest with his opinions, something that intimidated me.
We were different in many ways, and similar in many ways. It was perfect.
His flaws are perfect to me.
I didn't care about his negative side. None of it bothered me, at all.
"God, I love you so much, Eddie," I told him.
"I love you too."
"You have saved me from Corey."
"I never told you what happened after you blacked out," he said.
"What?"
"Well, I got in a fist fight with him. He punched me real good in the neck," he began, "but I realised that it's better I get hurt than you. Even though you did get hurt. I'd rather be the one with stitches. Promise. And what's amazing is that I don't even have to think about it."
"You're beautiful."
I kissed him again, very passionately, very lovingly. And I held his head in my hands, combed my fingers through his snarly hair. And I felt free from any kind of judgement or sadness.
He set me free.
