We found the rest of the boys and went back to the tour bus at about 11:20 pm.
Our next stop was Phoenix, Arizona.
I went straight to bed, Eddie holding me close in my small bottom bunk. I was under Donny, who snored like a bitch.
But the sound of Eddie's pumping heart and breathing lungs drowned out the heavy snores.
I had one strange dream.
And it went like this:
I fly out of my limp body, like my soul or something, away from the bus and what seems to be a million miles away. I am in my apartment...I am...Crying.
Where's Eddie?
I walk slowly into the room and watch myself cry into my pillow.
I see bruises and scratches on my arms...
And then I woke up.
I looked at the clock which read 3:32 am. Fuck, it was early. We seemed to have stopped, so I guessed we had made it to Arizona.
I thought about my dream. Why did I have bruises and scratches on my arms? Why did I have such an odd dream? Did it predict something? Would Corey come back?
I unwrapped Eddie's arms from around my waist and got up. I knew the questions in my mind would stop me from falling back asleep.
I walked out of the bunker room towards the small kitchen. There was cereal in the cabinets which I poured into a small plastic bowl.
Cheerios, man.
I poured in the milk, plopped down on the couch, and turned on the television set.
Aannnddd the news. Again.
This time national news.
So, with the Corey and Violet drama, we discovered that she isn't as guilty as Gill makes it seem. She was never together with Vedder. She was seen outside Energy Solutions Arena holding on to her new love, Vedder.
I changed the station and turned on Roseanne.
And then Eddie walked in.
"Hey, why'd you leave me?" He said with a sad look on his face.
"Oh, Eddie, I'm sorry. I just had the strangest dream and needed time by myself."
"Oh. Okay. I'm sorry," he said, looking hurt, turning back around.
"No, please stay, I didn't mean for it to sound like that. My thoughts are dangerous, Eddie, and I don't want you to get hurt."
Eddie smiled and sat down by me, wrapping his arms around me in a soft, warm blanket.
"It's okay."
It's moments like these that distract me from everything going on.
"What was your dream about?" He asked curiously.
Should I tell him?
Yes, of course I can.
I can trust Eddie.
And I did.
"I have a bad feeling," Eddie said quietly, "about your dream."
"What do you mean?" I asked, worried.
"I don't know. But if anyone tries to hurt you, I will protect you with my life." He said, kissing me gently.
"Fuck, I love you, Eddie," I said.
"Fuck, I love you, too."
I buried my head into his chest and we watched a million Roseanne re-runs together.
It was still dark outside, and Rusty was sound asleep. I turned around to crack the window open, and I grabbed my box of cigarettes and a lighter out of my pocket. I held it with my teeth and lit the end.
Eddie and I shared the cigarette and joked around like we always do.
"Oh man, I'm so tired or Axl Rose," I laughed.
"Oh, fuck, same."
Eddie got up from the couch and danced around like Axl, and mocking the way he sang.
"Welcome to the jungle, we got fun n' games," he sung in a high pitched, nasally voice.
I started laughing, and Eddie grabbed my hand and we danced around together. I left him for a quick moment to put in Pink Floyd's Wish You Were Here CD on the record player.
We slow danced to the odd Pink Floyd songs like Shine On You Crazy Diamond, Welcome To The Machine, Have A Cigar, and finally, Wish You Were Here, my favorite Pink Floyd song.
"So, so you think you can tell Heaven from Hell, blue skies from pain,"
Eddie grabbed my hand again and he held me against his chest. We swayed around to the beautiful song.
"Can you tell a green field from a cold steel rail?
A smile from a veil?
Do you think you can tell?"
Eddie spun me around a couple of times. It was a bit cheesy, I know... But it meant a lot.
"Did they get you to trade your heroes for ghosts?
Hot ashes for trees?
Hot air for a cool breeze?
Cold comfort for change?
Did you exchange a walk on part in the war for a lead role in a cage?"
He kissed my lips, passionately. Eddie did everything with passion. And he held my face in his big hands, and he stroked my hair. His lips were wet, soft, and nothing but kind. He kissed perfectly. I felt insane euphoria.
How I wish, how I wish you were here.
We're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl, year after year,
Running over the same old ground.
What have we found?
The same old fears.
Wish you were here."
And I fell asleep in his arms.
