Eddie performs with energy. Lots of energy. His sweaty body looks so wonderful. So hot. I loved the way he moved. I loved everything he did.
Pearl Jam finished and Eddie ran backstage to find me smoking marijuana with Stone.
"Hey, share," Eddie said, sitting down next to me.
I passed the pipe to Eddie who lit the weed in the the bowl, inhaled, and then laughed.
Stone and I got high together a lot and always had the best time, and getting high with Eddie was even better.
We laughed and laughed like crazed idiots. That's the thing about weed. It gives you a sense of...Awareness. Just like Seattle. I like awareness. The world just stops, really, and you think for a moment. The world is just go go go, and sometimes it's good to be at peace.
We all got higher than kites and by the time our roadies finished packing everything up, our eyes were bloodshot.
We got our things and went straight to the tour bus.
Heath was a bit hesitant.
"Look, man, you're apart of Crescent Sun now. You belong here. You deserve this." I told him before we entered the bus.
"Okay."
He went in before me and Eddie, and sat down awkwardly on the couch.
"So, where do you live? Address and everything?" Rusty asked in his southern accent.
"What?" Heath asked, concerned.
"We need to get your shit," Jeff told him.
"I mean, you could wear that every single fuckin' day," Mike snickered.
Heath looked hurt.
"Hey, get used to it, alright? They like to fuck with everyone. You'll fit in soon. I promise," I said to him.
He nodded.
So he gave us his address and we stopped by his house and waited for him to pack. It was about 11:30.
I was sitting on the couch with Eddie sharing a coke with him, and after I realised that Heath was going to take awhile, I got up from the couch.
Mike, Stone, Dave and Jeff were playing poker and drinking beers, and Donny and Jordan were playing music pieces from their favorite albums.
Tonight it was one of my favorites, too.
Black Sabbath's "Paranoid."
So I grabbed Eddie's hand and made him follow me out the bus, whispering in Rusty's ear what I was doing.
"Where are we going-" Eddie said.
I gave him a messy kiss to shut him up. I hopped out into the cool air. Heath lived on his own in an isolated neighborhood in the middle of nowhere, where the stars were so beautifully visible.
Eddie and I were both scrawny looking and resourceful, explosive and energetic. I put my shoe in between the tour door, and shot myself up on top of the bus. I sat there waiting for Eddie to come up.
The fucker slipped and I laughed my ass off for about twenty minutes.
"Oh God, you okay?" I said, trying not to laugh.
"Yeah!" He yelled at me, laughing.
I grabbed his hand and helped him climb up. He shifted his black docs into the same spot I did, and I pulled his body weight up.
He sat down next to me on top of the bus roof.
The stars shone ever so beautifully.
"I've always loved looking at the stars," I told him.
"It just sparks a ton of curiosity in me. You know, like, what the fuck are stars? What's their fucking purpose? They just live, a million fucking years, and then they die. They die. Just like that. But we still see them. It takes years for them to fade away. You know, I want to die like that. I want people to see me still. For a long time. I think that's a good way to die. People still notice you and the shit you've done in your life. Maybe that's cliché but I could care less. I like stars."
"I think that stars are so beautiful because the most beautiful things in life die but never really leave." Eddie smiled.
I realised I was wearing his raggedy red flannel, and I noticed him shiver.
So, I took the huge, baggy flannel off and wrapped it around our intimate bodies. He kissed my cheek and let me rest my tired body on his.
"Then why don't we be stars, together?" I said softly.
"I know you'll be," Eddie said sweetly.
And we just kind of sat there, peacefully. The world couldn't harm us, the media couldn't harm us, nothing could. And even if anyone tried to we'd be okay.
And I didn't really want moments like these to end. I wanted them to last forever. You know, I want to be an old fuck, looking back at my life, and I want to smile when I think of this moment.
And I wanted my future to be with Eddie.
Holy fuck.
Did I just admit to that?
Yeah. I fucking did.
I wanted Eddie to be in my life, Forever.
I pulled my box of cigarettes from my inside my shoe, along with my lighter. I took the cigarette out, put it in between my teeth, and lit the end.
"Cigarettes. They'll kill me," I laughed, passing it to Eddie.
"Well then we'll go together," he said. I realised the moon was a full one, and I thought about our song.
"Eddie,"
"Yeah?"
"You remember our song, Under The Moon?"
"Yeah, why?" He grinned.
"Well I was thinking..." I smirked, lust forming, everywhere.
Why not, you know?
"Hey, even better on top of a tour bus," Eddie said.
"But wait, Heath might hear us, or even walk out of his house to see two weirdos fucking," I said.
"Honey, the whole state will hear you when I'm in between your legs,"
"Damn," I said, then kissing him. I gave him my heart with my lips.
And he took off his shirt, his chest, ribs, and collarbones glowing in the moonlight. And I took off my shirt and undergarments, revealing my bare chest, which he stared at.
"I love your body," he told me, "I could write a million songs about your body. Your lungs, your heart, your neck, your ass, everything. You're so perfect it's overwhelming,"
"Ahh, fuck, you're so sweet."
And then we removed everything together, and I just admired him. And then we had sex, admirable sex. He gave me everything he fucking had. And we moaned "I love you's," and "fucks" and "jesus christs" together, in unison.
And my, my, it was so hot. He was undeniably hot. His body looked so perfect crashing into mine, which sounded odd, but that's my best way of describing it. The way his eyebrows furrowed, his moans thickening with every move, the way his heart became euphoric. I could feel it, his euphoria.
And we finished, we both were completely out of breath.
Our bare chests breathed together elegantly.
And we lied on top of the flannel, still naked, under the moon.
