Right Place Wrong Time

chapter 23

“Do you miss them?” I asked as I played with Matt’s fingers which were resting on my waist.

“It’s only been two days Tia!” he replied, laughing.

“You’re allowed to miss them!” I said quietly locking my fingers into his and letting them rest back on my body. He moved my body round so I was facing him, his eyes looking down into mine as his hand left mine and moved to lie on my cheek.

“I do miss them. But at least I still have you.”

I punched his shoulder and laughed, I liked when Matt showed his feelings but it happened so rarely that when he did I was never sure how to reply so I usually just ended up hitting him.

“Hey, how would you feel about moving in?” Matt asked, squeezing his arms around my waist. Moving in hadn’t even crossed my mind, so when he asked I genuinely was speechless.

“I don’t know,” I said eventually, “Mum needs me at home still.”

“Alex is still there and it’s not like we’re far away, you could still baby sit!”

“I’m not sure Matt; I want to be able to watch the twins grow up.”

“You don’t have to move in if you don’t want to, it was just a suggestion.” Matt smiled. I kissed him softly and then settled back into his chest and slowly fell asleep.

“Thanks mum,” I uttered as Mum placed a steaming mug of tea down on the table in front of me.

“It’s ok,” she smiled back, “how’s Matt coping without Grace and Millie?”

“Better than I expected, it’s still I bit weird though without them around,” I hesitated, my hands held around my mug, “Mum, he asked me to move in.”

“That’s wonderful news darling!” Mum beamed, “isn’t it?”

“I don’t know, when he suggested it I didn’t feel excited about it, I just kept making excuses.”

“Don’t you want to move in?” she questioned, her head cocked slightly to one side.

“I do want to; I just don’t know if I’m ready.”

“Well you spend most of your life there anyway!” Mum pointed out, “and if you’re not at his then he’s over here!”

“True.” I mumbled in agreement, “but what about Tilly and Theo? I want to see them grow up mumma.”

“Don’t be silly Tia! You’ll see us all the time! You’ll only be living 5 minutes away! Plus if you move out, Tilly can have your room and the twins won’t have to share!”

Having spoken to her about it, I actually began to feel excited at the prospect of living with Matt, I did want to spend a long time with him and as far as I was aware he didn’t have any particularly annoying habits. I’d still get to see my family all the time but I’d be one less mouth for Mum to feed and I’d get to wake up next to Matt every day. I don’t know why I was hesitant in the first place.

Mum and Alex helped me pack up all my stuff and drove me round to Matt’s. I rang the doorbell and waited for him to answer.  Matt opened the door and looked from me down to the ground, a grin appearing on his face as he scanned over the multiple bags at my feet.

“Room for a little one?” I smiled.

“Always.”

Matt lifted me with ease as I wrapped my legs around his torso, his hands held under my thighs as I locked my lips onto his, feeling passion and desire rush through my body.

“I love you.” I whispered, feeling his lips against mine curling up into a smile.

“I love you too.”

It was in that moment when I realised what complete happiness was. I felt like the void in my heart had been filled. Without knowing it Matt and I had taught each other how to love and how to trust; two things neither of us ever knew we were able to feel. We had absorbed each other’s’ pain and turned it into something beautiful.

Unfortunately after a number of years the passion dulled and our lives took separate routes, as I sit here in my battered armchair and reminisce over the years we spent together, my heart is filled with the warmth we had shared all that time ago. But we have both grown old now; I have a husband, children and grandchildren. I have lived a beautiful life but so much of it is owed to Matthew, the boy who opened my heart and freed me from my pain.

I am old now, and I understand that my time is running short, so I write this in the hope that wherever you are Matt, whatever you are doing, you may see this. I need you to know that I have never and will never forget you. This story is for you, my first true love, and my only true love and I write it in gratitude to you. My eldest granddaughter asked about the tattoo on my ribcage the other day at the seaside. Do you remember when we went to Blackpool and got matching tattoos? I told her I’d explain when she was older, she’d understand better once she’s fallen in love. I keep the charm you gave me for my 21st birthday, it hangs of my bracelet, and it’s the only charm that hasn’t tarnished.

I hope that you can remember those times too.

I don’t know if you’ll see this Matt, but I need you to know that I have never regretted a minute of the time I spent with you and I want to thank you with all my heart for everything. We were young and foolish but we were in love. I guess it was just a case of right place, wrong time.