Right Place Wrong Time

chapter 14

When I got home, I ran straight to my room, attempting to hide my tear stained face from my grieving family. I ignored their calls as I slammed my door and curled up on my bed, sobbing into my pillow. A few minutes later, my mum knocked quietly and silently entered the room.

“I’m sorry mum,” I sniffed.

“It’s ok baby,” she whispered, stroking my hair gently, “you don’t have to say anything.”

Saying anything wasn’t even an option for me, I could barely breathe never mind explain what had just happened. I felt bad as my mum sat with me on my bed, holding me whilst I cried for a boy I’d not even been with for two months when I should have been the one holding her while she cried for her dead husband.

“Pete said you went to Matt’s,” she said quietly after a while, “what happened?”

“He was with another girl,” I wept.

She hushed me as I laid my head against her shoulder.

“I’m sorry Tia; I know he meant a lot to you.”

“I’m so angry with myself!”

“Why?” my mum asked, looking into my eyes. There was never any point lying to her, she knew me better than anybody else ever would.

“I let him in.” I sobbed, “I trusted him mum.”

“I know it hurts sweetheart,” she said quietly, “but you can’t shut people out all your life. That wall has to come down at some point even if it means you get hurt.”

“I feel so stupid.”

“You’re far from stupid Tia!” she protested, “this year’s been hard for you and yeah you’ve made mistakes, but it’s him who should feel stupid, he has no idea what he’s lost.”

My mum stayed with me until I fell asleep. The next morning we decided we’d have a family movie day; none of us had the emotional strength the face the outside world.

Half way through the morning the doorbell rang.

“SHOTGUN NOT” my mum and I shouted at the same time, leaving Alex to heave himself off the sofa. As the door opened, I listened to the conversation in the hallway

“Now isn’t a good time.” Alex said bluntly.

“Please,” Matt’s voice made me gasp and my heart began to thump, “I need to see her.”

“She doesn’t want to see you Matt.”

“I need to explain!”

“You hurt her Matt, your explanation is the last thing she needs right now.”

I loved my brother so much, he was always so protective. It was a nice feeling knowing he’d always have my back, but this was a fight I needed to win on my own. I got up off the sofa and walked slowly towards the door. Alex’s large stature filled the doorway, hiding Matt from my view.

“It’s ok,” I said, almost inaudibly as I took hold of Alex’s arm, “I can handle it.

“Are you sure?” I nodded to reassure him before my mum came in with Alex’s coat and shuffled him out of the house, at the doorway she turned and said;

“We’ll be at Delilah’s over the road if you need anything.” Before shooting a sharp stare at Matt and turning away.

*MATT POV*

She turned on her heels and disappeared back into the house, I took this as an invitation to come in. It wasn’t the warmest welcome I’d ever received but I suppose I they had reason to be angry. I entered the living room and faced her as she stood, hands folded over her chest.

“I’m sorry.” I said weakly

“Is that it?” she asked defensively, “you came all the way here to say that?”

“Yes… no,” I stuttered, unsure of how to begin, “I want a chance to explain.”

“Why?”

“Because I think I owe it to you.”

“You owe me a hell of a lot more than that, sunshine.” I got the feeling she was pretty angry. Understandable.

“Tia, what I told you the other night, I’ve never told anyone that before.” I started slowly, “I told you because I trusted you; I trust you.”

“Trust works both ways Matt.” She observed sharply. I knew how hard this was for her; we were the same type of person, the type of person that doesn’t get attached to anyone or anything. The type of person who trusts no one but themselves.

“I know, I understand why you’re mad.”

“See I don’t think you do!” she protested, “I don’t think you understand how much it hurts me that I was stupid enough to think I meant something to you. I’m not even angry with you, I’m angry with me. I’m angry because I broke down my walls for you, I trusted you. I knew what you were like, but I was stupid enough to think that you had changed.”

“I have changed! You’ve changed me Tia!”

“No, you’ve just proved you’re the sleazebag everyone warned me about. You played me, well done, another notch in your bedpost.”

“It’s not like that” I objected

“That is it like then?”

“Tia, after I told you all that; the most painful thing I’ve ever experienced, you stopped talking to me. What was I supposed to think?”

“If you think I’m going to stand here and apologise to you for spending a few days with my family to grieve for my dead family, then you need to leave now.”

“I thought I’d lost you Tia.”

“So you waited a couple of days and then jumped on the next slut you saw?” she yelled, “you hadn’t lost me Matt. But now you have.”

“Tia, please,” I pleaded. I was desperate, I had fallen so hard for her without even realising it and now I’d gone and thrown it all away, “I promise nothing happened.”

“Yeah, because I walked in before it could!”

“No!” I insisted, feeling a lump in my throat at the thought of losing her, “I’m sorry Tia, I’m so sorry.”

“You can go now,” she said slowly before turning and walking out of the room.

“I’m sorry,” I repeated into the empty room.

I walked out and shut the door behind me. I drew in a breath and the slowly let it out.

“Fuck” I mumbled.