JUNO (sabrina carpenter x you)

chapter 18

Y/N's POV

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*mature content*
*3 weeks later*

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Something's been off lately.

Not between Sabrina and I—no, it's with me. And the worst part is, I know exactly what's going on.

Here we are, sitting together on a Delta flight to New York, with the plan to spend the night at my place before heading out to Jersey the next day to see my family for Thanksgiving. Sabrina is wearing my oversized hoodie and somehow, no one has recognized her the entire flight. In fact, she looked so comfortable blending in with the crowd, you'd think she was just another anonymous passenger.

For the past hour, we'd been absorbed in a game of Mario Kart on my Switch, the kind of game I'd always dominated—except tonight, I was losing. And not just losing, but losing badly. The frustrating part was that this never happens. I always win. But that's not the problem I'm talking about here.

No, the real issue is something else entirely. It's those damn butterflies again.

I get butterflies with Sabrina—always have, always will. It's part of being with her. She's my girlfriend, and everything about her is perfect to me. But here's the twist: the butterflies I'm getting now? They're different. They're stronger. They're bigger, more intense. They feel like a tidal wave crashing through my chest.

I'm not just getting those familiar butterflies that I've always felt around her. I'm noticing everything about her more—obsessing over it, even. I catch myself staring into her eyes longer than I ever have before. I get lost in her gaze, in her smile, the way her lips curve when she laughs at the simplest of things. I notice how she moves—her thumbs as she taps at her controller for the Switch, her legs as she shifts in her seat, her slight tilt of the head when she concentrates. And even more than that, I notice her voice, soft and melodic when she speaks, like every word has meaning. It's like I can't tear my eyes away, and I find myself noticing all of these details far more than I ever did before.

And right now, as we sit there in the quiet hum of the airplane, her head resting on my shoulder as we continue to play, I'm struck by the little things. The way she gets excited when she wins a round, her voice almost a whisper, or the way she looks up at me, her face lighting up in genuine joy. It's those tiny moments that I keep replaying in my mind, the ones that seem insignificant but actually mean everything.

I think I've known this for a while, but I'm only just fully realizing it now.

I'm in love with Sabrina. And, honestly? It terrifies me.

It's not that being in love with her is terrifying—that would never be the case. What scares me is that I'm in love again, period. Ever since Nicole, the very idea of love has been a source of fear for me. For two years, it held me back; I've been hesitant about it ever since our breakup.

What if I fuck this up?

What if she doesn't feel the same way?

Is it too soon to be in love?

I'm spiraling, overthinking every little detail, which is probably the main reason why she's currently kicking my ass in Mario Kart.

I've been trying to push those thoughts away, to ignore them, to keep my mind from running wild. But lately, it's starting to feel like Sabrina sees right through me, like she can sense the storm of doubts brewing inside my head.