Random Rainimator Stories

The Prophecy of the Last Cheese Stick

"the prophecy only exists to instigate shipping war"
"Why is it always about war or destruction? Why can't they have a prophecy about when the last cheese stick will be eaten?"
"I'd read that"

The dungeons held a particularly nasty scent in them. Hogsworth couldn't complain; he would get used to it by the time the Nether Horde rescued him. If they ever rescued him, that is. It had been weeks since he had been captured, chained to the dungeon floor by the Frostbourne after their battle near the outpost.

Hogsworth's ears perked up, footsteps echoing in the hallway. He looked up, only to groan as he recognised the figure. The figure only glared back at Hogsworth as she approached his cell. She unlocked the door and stepped inside, making sure to close it behind her before walking to Hogsworth.

Hogsworth slumped his shoulders. "Here for another interrogation so soon, Hilda?" he asked.
Hilda scoffed. "As much as I would love to have an excuse to punch you, you only get questioned once a day," she answered, folding her arms.
A smirk appeared on Hogsworth's face but faded away quickly. "If that's the case, then what are you here for?"

Hilda revealed an ancient book from inside a satchel, the cover showing an illustration of two women. One woman wore a crown, the other a helmet with wings. She opened it up to a page, a ribbon bookmark in its place. Hogsworth looked at it suspiciously, studying the page with interest. The page on the right showed a drawing of a piglin in a cell with a short yellow stick in his hand. The page on the left displayed a text in a language Hogsworth couldn't read. He looked between the two pages for a moment before looking back at Hilda.

"What's this about?" Hogsworth asked.
"It's an ancient prophecy," Hilda answered, gesturing to the pages as if Hogsworth was illiterate.
"A prophecy about what? I don't understand what language it's written in."
"That's the Elder Futhark runic alphabet. You don't need to understand it to know the prophecy. Just focus on the drawing."

Hogsworth looked at the drawing again, his eyes narrowing. "It's about me, isn't it?"
Hilda nodded. Hogsworth studied the drawing intently. "Exactly what am I doing in this drawing?" he asked with confusion in his tone.
Hilda turned the book, narrowing her eyes at the pages. "You're eating the last cheese stick."
"The last what?" Hogsworth asked in disbelief.
"The last cheese stick," Hilda repeated, her eyes serious.

Hogsworth howled with laughter, his voice deep and hollow. The sound echoed off the walls of the dungeon; perhaps even the Nether Horde could hear. Hilda's expression never faltered, instead waiting patiently for Hogsworth to finish laughing. When he did, he frowned, noticing Hilda hadn't cracked a smile.

"You're serious?"
Hilda scowled. "Of course! Unlike you, I am taking this as seriously as the times we've fought against the Nether."
Hogsworth couldn't believe what he was hearing. He stifled a laugh. "Prophecy is usually about war and destruction, darling."
Hilda gritted her teeth. "You eating the last cheese stick could start a war!"
"A war for all the cattle in the Overworld?"
"Take this seriously, porkchop!"

Hogsworth huffed. "I have never even tried a cheese stick."
Hilda fished for something in her pocket. She offered it to Hogsworth. A yellow stick wrapped in paper. A cheese stick.
"I am not eating that."
"I heard they serve you porkchop. Raw porkchop."

Hogsworth spat on the ground. Hilda's gaze hardened on him as she handed him the cheese stick. Hogsworth eyed the treat with interest before taking off the wrapper. He brought the stick to his nose and sniffed it slowly.

"It is not poisioned. Just eat it," Hilda snapped, tapping her foot aimlessly.
Hogsworth gave Hilda a deadpan expression before he bit into the cheese stick. It was cheesy; how else would he describe it? Of course, Hogsworth had eaten cheese before, but not a cheese stick. He took another bite, and another, and another, and-
Hogsworth spat out the wrapper of the cheese stick. Had he really been that hungry that he tried to eat a paper wrapper?