So, today they gave us early dissmissal because it was 100 degrees out. Thank god. Anyways, I got home, changed in my bathing suit, and I realized I can't wear it anymore. Over the past year I've gained massive weight, I was 116 pounds January 2010, and this year, May 2011, I've gained 35 pounds which makes me 151. Honestly, it really upsetted me because I can't even look at myself anymore. I bet there's a lot of other girls out there who feel the same way. I don't feel alone, but I feel like major crap. Knowing that I once was a 3 in skinny jeans and now a 9 or 11 makes me feel gross. Knowing that I once was a medium in shirts and now a extra large makes me feel worse. My face is not that much different, but I have a little fat on my chin, you can hardly see it. I end school tomorrow, June 9th, but seriously, I have 3 months or whatever of summer and no boys will even take one glance at me because I look gross. I go on a cruise in February 2012, but that's like totally different. I wish I was like the rest of the girls in my town, skinny and nice looking. No, I'm not lesbian or bisexual, I'm straight. But all the other girls get the guys, and here I am blown away like dust. If you wear a 7 or less in skinny jeans, or large or less in shirts, and say you're fat, then screw you. You're not even fat, I'd kill to look like that. You're an attention seeker, people who do have extra fat on them WISH they were you, so stop doing that. It's annoying and I wish I could look like most girls, but no. Oh, and if you do talk like that, I'll ignore you and won't talk to you. Today was honestly a good day until I looked at myself again. And now, I have all summer to work on this, which probably won't even work because my body doesn't lose weight, it only gains it, so great.
Sincerely, Dessie Lang, The Miserable Girl Who Can't Lose 20 Pounds.
