Love, lust and crazy

Sad to Loved

It's been ten days since Mia left
us for good . She is not coming back , I won't open my door to see her face again . I can't understand death . How can I do ? I have never faced it before now . My parents dragged me to the funeral , I couldn't go there , all the times i took the way to Mia's house was to see her . So , going there to admit her non-existance was a very hard step to do .

Getting there i felt that my heart was sinking in the middle of a black oily ocean , i have never been in a darker room . All of them were in black ; black suits , black dresses and simple outfits , all what can mean sad here , and elegant out there . I didn't put on a dress , and it was no way i do . For me dresses are for good events , also , mine were selected by her , and i felt horrible wearing them now . People were sorry , they all said " I am so sorry for your Mia , darling Melissa . " , I heard them , why were they sorry ? I couldn't see the reason . Anty was out of space , she was just nodding at everyone . The world have never seen a similar sadness , a mother's one . She was stuck in her thoughts , maybe the ones about lonliness , and i was on a chair in the corner of the room , in my black shirt and jeans , my hair was a mess , and not a sexy one , when Joe arrived .

" Serena , are you fine ? ". He asks .I didn't answer , of course i am fine (sarcastic ) .

"Sorry, what a stupid question , of course your not ". He apologise , scraching the back of his hair , he was in a black fancy suit , Mr. Roberts , fine so fine . He was smelling like a breath of heaven . I smiled at him a little . " I am a mess . " i said .

"I see . " He laughed , and somehow for a little spare of time i forgot about what was happening and i giggled back .

"I'm giving a speach". I said in a weird , proud way.

"I'm on politics . How can i help you ? " .

"Just listen , and smile supportly . " I suggest .

An hour later , and it was my speach time . The last night i tried to write some cheesy lines about the sisterhood and the friendship , but my heart was full with feelings that were hard to express , even they were hard to share . I stood in front of everybody with an empty hands and a crowded soul , and i start :"Why have you left so soon Mia ? I wanted you to plan my wedding and to be my bride's maid . We could've walk aroud central park a thousand times like we pland . We didn't even get our revenge on Drake pranks . Do you remember ? Do you remember the first time we met , the summer before high school , when we fooled the shop's owner about the chocolat cookies , they still my favourite . The speach Mia will never be enough , because we were much than some lines , we are BFFs as cliché as it could be , but you will remain in me , and you shall live through my eyes . I know you are far, far away , but like you said , I can pull off a distance relation ship . Three words , eight letters , I MISS YOU."

I finished the speach in tears , so did everyone else . This was by far the worst moment in the entire morning . Somehow i felt better letting this words go . Mia won't be back , i don't want it but i do accept it now , since i know that she will always find a way to live in my heart . Joe was next to me , when a blonde girl step in a black dress , i saw her before , but why can't i remember ? She seemed stranger to the house , she was looking for somebody I was sure . She stoped when her eyes met mine , and she smiled sadly while she was coming closer .

" Hello , Serena , i am so sorry for your friend and by the way i brought you , your missing lessons ."

" Oh , Hi lilly . You don't have to be sorry and thank you very much . " Once she talked , i knew it was her .

" You are welcome . " ,and she handed me the papers . She saw Joe besides me , and she got very uncomfortable and a little afraid , the scene was weird , so i decided to break the silence.