Anxiety Aspirations ||CB FanFic || Major Editing. On Hold

II.

"Brushing my hair-do I look perfect?
I forgot what to do to fit the mould, yeah!
The more I try the less it's working, yeah
'Cause everything inside me scream
No, no, no, no, no...
Don't lose who you are in the blur of the stars!
Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing,
It's okay not to be okay.
Sometimes it's hard to follow your heart.
But tears don't mean you're losing, everybody's bruising,
There's nothing wrong with who you are!"
|| Jessie J- Who you are ||

Desta Evens

I slammed the door, as the loud after-math of the sound came rushing through the atmosphere. I sighed heavily as I began walking to the school. The harsh warm weather, beaming down on my face. I quickened my pace, so I could be a little early to class. I do not want to encounter Amanda in the hallway again.
I made it to my locker, the hall was pretty clear. I kept my head down because I still got dirty looks from the others. Some of them even made smart remarks how I almost died. I ignored it, and grabbed my books for the day. I quickly made my way to the back of the class. Ugh chemistry. I kept my head down waiting, as students came into room.

"Fuck, the cunt didn't die" Amanda voice stabbing my insides as those words rolled off her tongue fluently. I kept my head down ignoring her.
I felt someone's presence near me, suddenly my head being yanked up. I winced in pain, to be greeted by Amanda's evil grin, taunting me.
"Can you leave me the fuck alone"
I say quietly.

I'm getting really fed up with bullshit. Just leave me alone, I don't like people, I
don't bother people, so stop bothering me! I got so angry, I began crying.
I hate that I do that. I appear to weak but really, I'm crying because it's taking everything in me not to give up. Everything in me not to hurt somebody, nor myself.

"Ha, are you crying? Pathetic. It's cute that you tried to hurt me. You almost made me cry" she faked pouted, quickly replaced with a slight giggle.

She slammed my head against the desk. My face was now throbbing with pain. She did nothing but walk away, and sat down nicely in her seat.
I saw some people look at me, as if they were going to say something. They quickly turned away. 

She's slowly making me slip into anxiety, and she doesn't even know it. She knows what she did yesterday, could hurt me severely and she was happy about it.
I bet everybody would have been happy if I were gone. People see what she does to me, they don't speak up. They barely even care. Their favorite excuse is,

'Not my business, not my problem. It isn't me, why should I care'

How can they not see? How can they not hear my scream. Me screaming to be happy, to be in paradise? My mom, my dad, even the teachers. They don't see, they're blinded by what the society states.

Society killed the fucking the dream!
--
It's now lunch time, and I had to buy my lunch. Normally I bring my own lunch, but the big accident yesterday really tired me out. I was casually walking to the line until I fell.
I knew somebody had tripped me. My face came connected to the  floor, I'm pretty sure I have a bruise. I whimpered in pain, it was absolutely unbearable. The floors were rock hard, not to mention fetor smell.
I hear the whole lunchroom erupt in laugher. I forgot all about eating, all of my thoughts had been removed.
My only goal was to get out of there. The laughing, it became louder. As if it was running deep into my soul. I couldn't bare it, I couldn't handle it.
It hurts, badly.

I quickly grabbed my book, and ran out the lunchroom. I sniffled softly, walking fast, with my head down.
I then ran into somebody, almost falling, but feeling strong arms capture me before it could happen.

"Woah there beautiful. Slow down" I hear a baritone voice. I look up to see its no one other than, Mr.Brown.

"Please don't call me that" I stated softly, gaining my balance.
"Call you what?" He spoke utterly confused.
I looked up at his face.

Damn his eyes are gorgeous, are those freckles?! He looks quite young close up, oh my.
His lips are extremely sexy. You can tell he licked them, just by the bit of moisture.

I quickly got out my trance, and answered his question.
"Beautiful" I whispered. He scrunched his eyebrows up in disbelief.

"But, you are beautiful" he stated in a 'duh' tone. Like I should already know this. I froze up, I became lost for words. I quickly ran away, going straight into the girls bathroom. Nobody has ever called me beautiful, ever!

Did he mean it?
Nah, he couldn't have, I'm not beautiful at all.
I don't know what his problem is, he clearly need his eyes checked.
He must have mistaken me for someone else.

Sorry for the short chapter, I just found out somebody extremely close to me passed away. I'll try to write a lengthy chapter tomorrow, and publish it soon.
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For the next update.
Thanks for the 50 views. Being that it's only 2 chapters, I think that's pretty good.
#Nizzy#
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