Never Gonna Be Alone

Chapter 31---Decisions, Decisions

"I'm so glad that Anderson finally  made a break through." Chuck commented after a moment of silence. 

Ryan shrugged. "Doesn't mean that Laten still likes him."

Chuck rolled his eyes and got up. "Well what the hell am I suppose to do? I can't get Laten to talk to me, I have no idea what to do about his cutting-"

"He'll stop when he's ready" Ryan interrupted him. 

Chuck just looked at him. "What?"

"I said, He'll stop when he's ready. Though I'm pretty sure you heard me the first time."

Chuck rolled his eyes. "What, am I suppose to let him cut?"

"He'll realize when it's finally time to stop."

Chuck shook his head. "I'm tired of doing nothing. I mean, I really want to concentrate on him. I...feel that I haven't done it as much as I should." 

"And you're right."

Chuck flinched.

"But if you make him stop it might get worse. Let him stop on his own. Besides, I think Tankie is really helping him." Ryan commented. 

Chuck shook his head. "I-I can't just sit back and do nothing. I've done enough of that, and I need to go to work tomorrow."

Ryan sighed. Chuck was always so stubborn at times. Even Faith had a hard time trying to get through his head. "Look, all I'm saying is that it might be a lot harder on Laten if you take the route by forcing him. If you go my way-"

Chuck snapped. "Who the hell are you anyway to tell me what to do with my kid? Uh?"

Ryan stood up, and walked in front of Chuck. "I'm his Godfather, his teacher, and I've been listening."

That hit Chuck to the core. 'I'm suppose to be the parent, not him. I'm suppose to make the decisions, not him, and Laten is my kid, not his.' Chuck was also fuming with anger because of the fact that he knew it was true. He knew he hasn't been a good enough father for Laten. Chuck curled his his fist, and swung at Ryan, hitting him on the side of his nose.

Ryan stumbled backwards. He touched his nose and found out that he was bleeding. 

Chuck cursed. "I'm sorry, Ryan." He walked over to his friend.

Ryan chuckled. "It's quiet alright. Though I don't recommend punching people who you know are right."

Chuck laid his head on Ryan's shoulder. "I just hit.....one of the people that I care about the most. What the hell has happened to me?" He whispered. 

Ryan hugged his friend. "You're still in shock of what has happened. Your conscious just hasn't been able to keep up."

Chuck chucked. "You should stop making excuses for me." He lifted his head up.

Ryan looked at him in the eye. "I'm not making excuses. You just......instead of facing your problems, you ran from them. It's kind of common for people who are scared of what the outcome might be."

Chuck smirked. "Are you calling me a coward?" He took a step forward.

Ryan smirked and shrugged. "Take it how you want."

Chuck touched the part that he hit Ryan on. "You gonna be okay? I truly am sorry."

He shook his head. "I'll be fine. Should've known it was gonna come. I knew I hit a nerve."

They smiled at each other, for a few moments before Ryan broke the silence.

"It's getting late and I should go."

Chuck shook himself from the trance. "Yeah. Um....do you really think that I should just....let Laten stop on his own?"

"In my personal opinion, yes. If you force him, then you're just gonna make it that much more harder on him. Then again, I'm not his parent." He shrugged and walked out of the house. It felt really nice outside. Ryan got in his vehicle and just sat there for a moment, replaying the scene over in his head.

'Maybe I should get him a punching bag. I have one at my house'   Ryan mused. Then his mind went to where Chuck laid his head on his shoulder. Ryan smiled, but then his smiled faded. Back at New York, while they were kids, Chuck was always confident, though he was overly confident to the point of cocky. After the towers crashed down, everything went downhill from there. 

While Chuck was still joking around, Ryan could still see sadness in his eyes. He looked so sorrowful, and helpless. Ryan just wanted to give him a reason to be happy in that moment. Like..maybe....kiss him.

'No. That would earn me another punch. A harder one.'  Ryan mused. He put the key in the ignition, and started to drive. Ryan decided to drive slow. Just a drive to his house. There was no need to rush. Besides, he really needed time to think. 

If Ryan were really honest with himself, the kiss would never actually happen. Chuck was still too hurt, and was still too damaged. Hell, they all were damaged. They were all trying to hang on. The attacks had everyone on edge. 

He remembered where he was on that faithful day. He was ordering a Starbucks coffee drink that morning. He remembered what coffee it was to this day. It was an Iced caramel Macchiato, it was large sized. He remembered that the Television was on, and it was on the news. 

It was an easy going morning for him. He was having an easy going day. No worries, no deep thinking. He remembered that it was half full when came the breaking news saying a plane had just crashed. At first he thought it was accidental plane crash. He never even finished that thought because the caster had said that it was the North Tower. 

He remembered that his mind had just froze. Everybody had stopped what they were doing to stare at the television. He seen both towers collapse, thought he even heard it too. Though he wasn't in the City at the time. 

He remembered that he tried to call Chuck to ask him if he was okay. He remembered that after the 6th call, that something was wrong. He remembered he left his drink to drive there even knowing it wasn't safe. He remembered the was dirt and metal all over the place, that was here he had decided that it wasn't safe to walk, so he waited it out. The most intense hours of his life. 

Though he couldn't remember how long he waited in his car, waiting for Chuck to call him. He just remembered that Chuck had called and said, in tears, that Faith was in the towers.

He was so deep in memory that he didn't even know that he was crying by the time he drove up to his house. 

For the first time in over a year, Ryan broke down in his car, crying until 4 o clock in the morning. 

Back at Chuck's home, he laid on the couch and wondered about Ryan as well. 

as in,

'Was there something deep behind his eyes? Beyond friendship? There was something in his eyes that I've never seen. It was emotional staring into his eyes...'