Never Gonna Be Alone

Chapter 36 The Lightning

When Chuck finally got off the phone with Ryan, he finally felt like he accomplished something in his son's life by getting rid of Anderson.

He plopped on the bed and sighed. Could things get any more worse for him? He felt as if he betrayed his son by not listening to him in the first place. Chuck was starting to wonder what would happen if the "meetings" happened for the whole of two weeks. Chuck decided not to let his mind wonder to that.

Dammit, why couldn't he get the feelings? Why didn't it run through his blood?

'Breath' Chuck told himself. 'You just got rid of yet another reason that Laten could be cutting now. You got rid of the bullies, Anderson is now gone, and if only Faith were here.'

Chuck took out the picture book of them two from under his bed. He hardly ever looked at it since she died, and now he felt as if he needed to.

Faith was so beautiful. Laten got his eyes from her. She had a tan skin as if it were colors just blended by the most clever artists. Laten also got his height from her. She was a tall woman.

Another picture showed her in her Air Force uniform. She was standing so tall and proud. It was like she was made for that uniform. The colors worked so well on her. He loved those determined eyes of her. She was a loving person with a big heart, yet she had that fire set in her.

To this day, he still felt like she was way up there, and he was just....somewhere in the middle. He was very proud to be her husband. He remembered that he was very lucky to not to have to move around all the time.

He put the book of pictures under his bed. One day he was going to put more pictures in there. He hasn't done that in a while. Chuck had thought about dating every once in a while, but he could never find the right person. He ran his hands through his hair. 

Ryan sighed. What the hell was stopping him from telling his feelings to Chuck? Now that Ryan thought about it, he's been dealing with this.....crush? For a long time now. Chuck wasn't ready to date. That's why. And what about the fact that Arthur kissed him.  Surely he couldn't have meant that. He went to his desk and pulled out the gradebook. Maybe he could take a few lessons from Chuck. Like not letting your thoughts get to you. 

'Just put the numbers where they belong. See those little boxes by those names? That's where the numbers. Now put it in like a good teacher.'

Laten was in his room on his computer turning assignments in. He had just realized that he might have Tankie's number in his phone, but he didn't have his email address. 

'That's interesting.' Laten thought. He wasn't even sure why he was checking his email. It's not as if people would email him. It suddenly came to Laten that Tankie was slowly starting to change him. The walls Laten has been building up for all these years, were actually starting to come down. He never thought that anybody could change him. 

But what if Tankie decided to leave him? Or what if he vanished? Laten flinched at the thought. Tankie couldn't leave. That would be the end for Laten. He'd probably go back to cutting. Maybe even purposely making it deep, letting the blood pour out as he drown in tears. 

Laten shook his head. He wouldn't let that happen. But even as he tried to comfort himself, there were those little doubts inside his mind. He picked up his phone and texted Tankie, asking him what was his email address. He hesitated about typing 'I Love you' then questioned himself. Is he actually falling in love with Tankie? The more he thought about it the more it made sense. After a few more moments in deciding, he finally sent the last message. He couldn't wait until he saw Tankie again. Maybe they could walk together to school from Laten's house. Laten found himself smiling as he thought about Tankie. This was truly the most happiest he has been sense his mother died. He let a squeal of excitement that he hoped he wouldn't tell anybody about.

Approximately five minutes later, Laten got a reply.

'Yea, my gmail address is coolkidnextdoor.gmail.com. I love u 2 <3' 

Laten smiled. He quickly put Tankie's address in and send him a short email. There. More contact. Laten closed the laptop, and set it beside him. He couldn't believe how much time has passed. First he goes to not letting anybody get under his skin, to having a boyfriend. How does that even happen? Not that Laten is ungrateful to have Tankie in his life, he actually is. Tankie has made more happy then he has been. He actually looks forward to school of only for that reason. As he was thinking about this, it occurred to him that Tankie actually makes everything more brighter. He should tell Ryan about this when he goes to school tomorrow. He slept peacefully, thinking about Tankie, and how the world will be different from his point of view now.

The next morning, Laten woke up feeling refreshed. Only to realize that he slept twenty minutes late. "Holy crap!" Laten rushed to get ready. "This is bullcrap. I hardly ever sleep well, get up way before six, and the night that I actually get sleep....I over sleep!" Laten kept mumbling to himself, as he swung over his backpack and skateboarded to school.

He was on his way to his locker for English class, when one of the kids that gave him hell was wondering around.

Laten rolled his eyes. The kid wasn't the main one, but that meant that they were back. Laten felt his walls come up again, and he was starting to feel jumpy. 'Great. Giving them satisfaction that I'm scared of them. Which I'm not. just to get through him easily.'  To Laten's surprise, when he walked right by him, no trouble. The kid didn't even acknowledge him. To Laten that was very strange. Something was going on.

He arrived to his class. Something strange also happened. None of the kids looked at him, and all the teacher did was look at him. No questions asked. 'What the hell? DO they know? no...they can't. Surely nobody could know...'  Laten was starting to panic. He quickly took his seat trying to breath. panicking won't do him any good. Especially with his asthma. He was getting ready to take his phone out when he realized that he forgot it in that mad dash to get to school.

Great. Laten just sat there and listened while different thoughts were occupying his mind. Something was very off. At the bell Laten packed up.

"Laten, detention I'm sorry but rules apply to you too." He said it in a joking way, but Laten didn't take it that way. What the hell was happening?

he didn't respond and he just walked out of the classroom.

Back at the house, Chuck laid on his bed. he had work today, but he didn't care. He's been thinking for quiet sometime for the whole night. he made a decision. 

He got up and went into the bathroom, and opened up the mirror, and took the two bottles of pills. He went back to the bedroom, and got out the picture book of him, Faith, and Laten. He laid it open, and arranged the pills. he grabbed a plastic water bottle and sat down on the bed. He was debating on leaving a note, but that would kill Laten. 

Ryan. Ryan was the one. Chuck grabbed a piece of paper, and poured out his heart into the paper. He folded it nice and neat, and wrote in his best hand-writing,

'Ryan D.' 

He was crying by the time he sealed it. It was better off without him. He did this to Laten, he ignore him, and now it was too late. he lot all hope. He just hoped Ryan would take Laten.

He got comfortable and started one by one, to swallow them all. He made sure the door was locked, and his phone on silent. He wasn't going to let guilt trip him up. Though it already has.

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