Running On Empty

Chapter 17~ SILYA

"Silya, you are there, right?" My mother's voice came from the other side of the door.

"Yeah, I'm just tired. I want to be left alone right now." I climbed in bed and pulled the covers over my head.

The day became dark with grey clouds covering up the once bright sky. Jaylin would probably be in his room talking to Frica. If he managed to talk to anyone it would be her since they were now friends. There's this part of me that knew that telling the truth after all this time, was the right thing to do. The other part was still turning the feeling of regret and total guilt in the pit of my stomach. Somewhere deep inside me, I felt a thousand diamonds shattering all at once repeatedly. I never experienced anything like this before. If I knew that this deal was going to involve me getting hurt, then I would have never shaken the Headmaster's hand.

Frica had broken her deal with me. She looked like she had taken a liking to Jaylin as well. If she was trying to hide it, she didn't do a good job of it. Strangely though, I don't see her as a love rival. I don't see any reason to try and fight her when she had already won from the start.

All that was left to do was to continue to find experiences that Jaylin could have fun and learn from, regardless if Frica was with us or not. 4th of July was coming sooner than expected, so going to see the fireworks would be the perfect opportunity for Jaylin to see them for the first time, then he could also maybe eat some food from people who would be selling food. Maybe I could cook some food for us to take along. We could sit in the grass and eat while watching the sky light up with sparkles and fire crackers.

Wait, this was not for me and Jaylin. It was for Frica and Jaylin.

Regardless of how I felt, I need to make sure this is super romantic for them to fall in love. As a friend of Jaylin, I needed to do everything in my power to help him. This is the price of being involved with a deal that had to do with romance. It was just like my parents, it's like a fallout. There was a thing that Jaylin and I had at one point or another, but this—this was the story of Jaylin and Frica.

I must have looked so ridiculous in front of the two of them. I mean, I was almost swept away by Jaylin when he looked at me in the eyes. I swear that he wanted to kiss me. I'm not an expert at love, but I was almost certain that I would have gotten my first kiss by him. I didn't mind one bit either. This is a big problem, a huge problem.

I ripped off my covers once more and paced around my room. This is insane, I've barely known the guy for a month and a half and I end up falling in love with him! What was this, a fairytale story? God, this was just messed up. How am I supposed to be happy for the two of them if the guy I like is marrying someone else?

I pulled out my phone and decided to call Madeline surely she would be able to tell me what was wrong with me. Instead, Garrett picked up and he sounded very pleased to hear my voice. Even talking to someone else who had gotten close to me would let me get rid of these feelings that kept boiling up and making my face burn up so bad that I thought my head would blow off like a volcano. It was like I was a rocket taking off into space in a matter of three seconds. This feeling made me feel giddy as a kid on Christmas morning that was madly trying to rush their parents down the stairs.

Crap.

Crap.

Crap.

I'M IN LOVE!

I grabbed my pillow and squeezed the life out of it. Did love really make feel this childish, this excited, this confused? Maybe I was just not liking the fact that there was another girl that took a liking to Jaylin He had never met another girl besides me and now he's getting married off to a stranger.

"OK, calm down, Silya," I say to myself in the most rational way possible. I tossed my pillow to the side, watching it roll of my bed with a thump.

I rolled on my side and watched the sun high in the sky getting ready to set for the day. The sky was a rosy pink with a tint of purple in between the clouds. There were two birds perched on a branch in the tree in front of my house. It was like they were watching the sun set together. This wasn't just a one day fling. I'm pretty sure at this point he was all that I needed to make me feel alright. I want him right beside me. I want to see his gray eyes looking at me, pulling me in until I can't escape.

I need him to know.

Maybe he would actually like me too. Maybe he actually feels the same way about me like I do about him. Maybe this is called "wishful thinking," but I can't lie about this feeling.

"Yes! Oh, I can't believe it!" I spun myself around and jumped around on my bed. What a completely fleeting moment that took me by surprise.

My mother's voice suddenly came bursting in, filling the empty room. "Your father wants to see you. He's here right now and he needs to talk to you."

"What—I can't talk to him right now, I'm having a moment here, Mom. At least give me some time."

Then a tall man with dark black hair steps into the room. His figure is tall and lean. There were stubbles on his chin and noticeable bags under his eyes. It was clear that he was not the kind of person who actually looked after himself. He wore a red and white plaid shirt that had stains and loose threads hanging off, making him looked like he had gotten into a fight before he came here. His teeth were sticking out as he smiled in a crocked way. His hair was sticking up in the back of his head.

"Who is this guy? He looks like a hobo."

My mother walked closer to me and soon she was standing between me and that strange guy. Her voice was low as if she was wearing a mask, trying to hide a big secret. Then it hit me, he was my farther.

My mom realized that I had figured it out.

"Aren't you going to say anything to your father? Young haven't seen me in a while, so I thought you would be more excited." My father's lips curled up in a crocked smile. I could set about three gaps.

"You're not my dad in the least bit it. Why in the world did you think you could just march back into my life again and pretend like nothing happened?"

At first I felt my hands tighten as they got ready to punch him in the jaw, but something else came rushing faster than my fists could swing. It felt warm and strong. It squeezed me as tightly as it could and from inside, I heard a heartbeat that was pounding on and on.

"Wait, Silya. I want you to listen to me." My dad's voice came from deep inside as if it were really like his heart was speaking.

Maybe it was something that I had wanted to be reality because I knew that when I was little I didn't really know the truth and wouldn't for a long time. My father was right here embracing me as strongly as he could. Was his apology the truth after all? Did he just lose his way and needed all these years to tear down all the walls that had been built up?

"I want to tell you that I really handed missed you all these years. Sometimes adults make mistake, even though they are the ones that should be there for you and show you right from wrong. That's why I love your mother. She did all that and more when I was gone. I'm not fit to be a dad, But here's the thing, you'll always be my girl. I love you, Silya."

I love you too, Dad.