Running On Empty

Chapter 6~ Silya

                                                  Song: Fearless                                                           Artist: Taylor Swift          

Many people say that I take after my mom, but I hate it when they do. We may look alike, but as far as our thoughts and feelings go, we're not on the same wavelength at all. My mom is 5 feet and 6 inches, my dad is around 6 feet and 2 inches. My mom has the same brown eyes and black, straight hair as I do. She never used to drink or smoke before my dad left. I think of it as a way for her to deal with all her frustration and sadness that has been inside of her all this time. She's really good at drawing, unlike me, she loves to draw anything she gets inspired by. She loved my father with all her heart when they were first married. I still hardly remember the times where she smiled and laughed all the time with dad. When I did, a little ache was in my chest.

My father was a man of business. He knew anything and everything about technology and computers. He was also very good at math and science like my mom. He was never the type to truly hold a grudge against anything unless it had to do with money. My father had always been the one who was the most talkative, while my mom was quiet but she had said to me once before that her and dad could understand each other just by looking at each other. I had come to realize that overtime, love dies down just like the excitement of getting new things and then getting bored of playing or using them. Eventually people look for something new so that way they never get tired. I figured that was what had happened between my parents' marriage.

 I took the divorce thing like any other event that was thrown at me. I just kept it to myself and quickly accepted the reality of things. It was simply because fairytales only last through your childhood, when you think that there is a thing as a charming prince out there somewhere, waiting for you. The little five year old girl that used to love dressing up and pretending to live in a castle, was a thing in the past.

 Sometimes I wished that things could have been back to normal between my parents because as much as I disliked to admit them, I still loved them both a lot. My father had disappeared after the divorce and I hadn't heard from anything from him since that night.  My mom went out constantly during the night to clubs now that dad had vanished. I knew that she wanted to find someone out there for her again. She wanted so badly for someone to love her. I knew it even though she never had said anything. Could there be a thing called "true love" and could one person truly say that they have truly lived happily ever after?

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I snuck in my house at 9:00 p.m., five hours after I had left Jaylin's place. My mom had left a note as usual saying that she was going "job searching" again. I crumbled the note again and tossed it in the trash and then I decided to cook myself some dinner. It was something that I had gotten used to, but never grew tired of. I love hearing the sizzling of the food as it contained to heat up and pretty soon, the lonely kitchen would be surrounded by the smell of fresh cooked vegetables and rice that was used to make fried rice. Sometimes I would go to the store myself and pick up some fish or ingredients to make cookies.

My mind often would drift off to the times of my childhood of my parents and I cooking in the kitchen when I was younger. Mom had taught me how to bake many things like cookies, cupcakes, pies, and so on. My dad also had done a lot of cooking when he could. That was usually when he was not away on travel. He loved cooking out on the grill and we often had invited friends over for cookouts. Yeah, my life was pretty sweet back then, but I knew that I took it for granted when I was little. My parents had both moved on in their own ways I guess, and well I wasn't sure if I had completely moved on or if I had still had thoughts and feelings that were still lingering in the past.