Running On Empty

Chapter 1~Silya

There is a road that bends to the back of a park. No one ever goes there. It is a quiet place, away from everything else. I spend all my time there. My mom told me that I should go and make friends. But I hate doing that. This one place is the only thing I like about moving here.

There plenty of weeds and tall grass. They looked to be swaying to the sound of the wind. I fell in love with this place because of the way it welcomed me. There were birds and little rays of the sun reflecting off the water, blocking out my view; this was perfect. The place was completely open to everyone, but no one came here anyway.

This place was just my own. I made sure no one would ever be wondering what was back here, so I always made sure it appeared as dull as possible by covering it up with trash, twigs and old tree leaves and branches. This was the place where my mom never knew about. She had asked me a couple of times where I had been for the long hours and I always gave her the same response, "I was Nowhere." That's what I called this place because from just plain sight it looked like a wasteland for human trash in the middle of nowhere. There is a pond that reflects a glorious view of the sunsets every evening at 6:30.

Across the pond, there was a mansion. I had heard that a rich family lived in the place. Every day, cars and people would go in and out of those huge gates. Every night from my bedroom, I heard the constant music that came from there and I imaged how great the people in that house must have it. It was said that they had so much money they spent it all on that one mansion. I wanted to be in their shoes. I hated being here with no friends and no place to really call home. Why was I here, when I should've been back home, at my real home?

Once, I had a crazy idea of actually sneaking into the party and exploring the many wonders that mansion had. I must have been insane to actually think of breaking in at some kind of fancy party that I was not invited to, but it was way better than doing nothing at home but read and write.

I wanted something adventurous, crazy and maybe even a little deadly to take place. I didn't care what it was, as long as it was a thrill to be a part of.

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"Silya, is that you, honey?" My mom's voice had called out to me in a nice, motherly way. She knew it was me, who else could it be?

"Hi mom," I replied back, slipping off my dirty shoes and putting them in the shoe box, "sorry that I'm late."

My mom had always been used to me coming home late. Even though we had only lived here for a month, it had seemed like years because of the daily routine. My mom was sitting at the table, drinking coffee and reading a magazine. I walked in and sat down in the seat next to hers.

"Did you have fun today?" My mom took a sip from her coffee, her eyes looking for an answer. I knew what answer she wanted, but I had told her "no," and she looked down at the table. She took a deep sigh out.

"I'm sorry that you haven't liked moving out here, but this is a good change for us." It's a good change for you, I thought. I only nodded my head and went upstairs to my room.

There seemed to be this invisible wall between us after my dad and mother decided to have a divorce. They had been married for twelve years and I used to really think love lasted forever. They weren't the lovey-dovey type, but they always seemed to work as a team. My dad always worked and was the kind of father that would come home at 2 a.m. since he had two different jobs. He was a truck driver, that was his day job and at night, he was a night guard at the history museum. My mom had said he was such a workaholic that he had forgotten at times to come home. I understood that he was busy, but he always tried to provide for our family. My mom had told me that she fell out of love for him a while ago and I didn't understand what it meant at the time. So I didn't put too much thought into that.

One night, my dad had come home all lopsided and acting like he had no sense of direction. My mom and I were eating dinner when he had staggered into the kitchen and I knew as soon as I saw his face that he was drunk. His eyes had this sort of crazed look in them and it was obvious he was unclean. My mom had stood up from the table and walked over to my dad and took a look at him. I could smell perfume from his clothes; it was not my mother's and my mom figured it as well. My mom walked out of that kitchen without another word and I continued eating my dinner. That was the first time I hated being in the same room as him. I remember that night better than any other nights in the past because it was the first time I heard my mom and dad fight, and slowly as each minute passed with nasty words and screaming; my parents' love had slowly started to crumble into pieces.

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I opened my eyes and I rolled off my bed. School had just ended yesterday, so I would have nothing to do for 8 weeks. I decided to get ready for the day by showering, and cleaning up my room that my mom had been nagging me for weeks to clean up.

The house was completely silent, but I was fine with that. It was completely normal in my life. My mom had left the house early at 7:00 a.m. because I heard the garage door open and close, it was directly below my bedroom. I had went downstairs and saw a note on the table in her neat handwriting:

I'll be back soon. Be sure to clean up and please answer the phone if it rings for me. I am expecting a call from someone.

Thank you

~Mom~

I crumbled up the note and tossed it in the trash. My mom was going out to look for a job and I knew that she wouldn't be back anytime soon even though she said she would. I got my back up of the things I always brought with me. I made sure to pack up my IPod and its charger, pencils, a notebook, my computer and a book that I had picked up at the bookstore the other day. I wouldn't be staying home alone, doing nothing. It would just be another day that I would dread living in.

I walked out to my house and walked down the sidewalk and plugged in my headphones. I needed something to listen to because it sounded like I was the only person in the world today. If there was someone singing, it felt like I wasn't the only one around. I made sure to leave my mom a note before I left and I knew she would get home disappointed that I had left the house again.

I made my way up that little way and onto the dirt path that strayed away from society. Society was the one thing I never understood. It was made up of carless people; people who were conceited and greedy and I wasn't sure if they ever had any meaningful thoughts that went through their heads. The dirt path had lead me to Nowhere and for the first time today, I felt like I could finally smile. I looked out at the mansion across the lake and saw cars driving in and out of the parking lot. Today would be different, and I had made up to walk to that mansion and if I got caught, I had a feeling that I wouldn't care because it would be something different that went on today. Today would be the day I would feel more alive more than I had ever thought I could be.