Running On Empty

Chapter 18~ Jaylin

Frica was not a bad person by any means, but I did question whether or not she know what "personal space" was. She had somehow convinced my father into letting her stay here and my father went along with it excitedly. What in the world did the two of them hope to gain from having her move in? The talk about her moving in was already decided even before my father walked into my room to tell me the news.

Moving Day went something like this:

                                                                                   (Four days ago...)

I got up around 9:00 am. I noticed that it was the day where I had to have me weekly bath done, so Madeline came into to wash me up. We didn't really say a single world to each other and I really didn't think it was right of me to interrupt her train of thought.

At 10:30, Madeline had finished washing and dressing me. Madeline taught me another lesson that was supposed to be kind of like my education. We read The Great Gatsby. Madeline kept saying to pay attention to the different relationships that existed between Gatsby and Daisy and what relationship the narrator shared with Gatsby. Madeline says that people have relationships that differ from one person to the next. Relationships can be affected by the emotions we feel, regardless if they are positive or negative. Relationships are something to treasure, in her view.

It made me think what kind of relationship existed between Silya and I. It was obvious that we were more than acquaintances. I think for sure that I am her friend. Would a person often get all nervous in front of their friend? Would they feel their chest get tight and start to feel their face burning up? I already knew the answer, no. I knew that I couldn't continue to be friends with her like I used to.

I wanted to tell Madeline this. She already knew about Silya and she did like her a lot. Why was it hard to get out the words though? Are all my feelings one-sided?

Madeline had left a little later and around 12:00. I had spent the rest of the afternoon, looking outside my window, wondering when Silya would walk up the drive way again. Would it be another week before I see her again or was it even sooner than I thought it was going to be?

My father decided to come straight into my room without knocking at around 2:00 and let me say that it was the fasted five minute conversation of my life and all I could get was the words that combined into Frica is coming to live with us in for the sake of our marriage. It's not that I was surprised about this, but I had wanted her to be Silya. My father never asked me how I felt about it, instead he just looked at me with a slap-happy smile and walked away. If there was any reason I would agree to this in the first place, it would be that if Silya truly didn't feel the same way.

Maybe I was holding on for the hope that she would return my feelings back to her. I had told her how I felt. No, that's not true. I hadn't tell her how I was truly feeling.

At 4:00, I was laying on my bed, writing random things with the dry erase markers and then rubbing off the writing. I tired drawing Silya a couple of times. I remembered the way she had looked on the first day I saw her. I had a picture of the two of us tucked behind of my pillow. As silly as it sounded, it was my treasure.

There was a soft knock on my door. I shut my eyes quickly and turned on my side. My head laid faced against the wall. I heard soft footsteps creeping around my bed. I watched the shadow a skinny figure move closer and closer to me. My heart was pounding. This wasn't her. I heard Frica's voice instead.

Her shadow showed her reaching out her arm to touch me. Maybe she wanted wake me up to say hi, but I couldn't do anything but wait for that moment to hit. Thankfully Garrett had saved me from my worries. He came right in without hesitation.