Neophyte

Perception

Night eventually arrived, and the guests were instructed to return home. Many were disappointed but did not want to upset the Padres and Bishops. The Soldados de Cuera ensured that people left the Mission and church to ensure Padre Fermin's safety. 

Padre Fermin sat back on his chair and sighed. "What a long day of traveling, praying, and festivities. Still, it had been so long since I have enjoyed myself." He looked at the Bishops and nodded. "You all have my gratitude for making such a wonderful event."

The Bishops bowed in response. "The honor is all ours, Padre Fermin. We all know you are busy maintaining the many Missions," said Bishop Victoriano as he took his last sips of wine. "I have received word that you already plan to make more Missions. Bishop Victoriano tried his best to sound enthusiastic, but dreaded the thought of more Missions being built.

"Indeed, I have planned how the next Mission will be and will begin the following year, since we need more natives to build it. I will call it Santa Barbara, Virgen y Martir. I am also planning another one, which I considered calling La Purisima Concepcion." Padre Fermin shrugged, "La Purisima is still long, but I must start planning its construction. We must convert many of these savages to the way of God. Only then can their souls be saved."

"You said it with such clarity, Padre Fermin. I know that Padre Junipero Serra would have been happy and proud of your accomplishments if he were still alive today. I genuinely believe he is with the Almighty Father in heaven, seeing that you are continuing his legacy," said Bishop Samuel. 

Padre Fermin merely nodded and smiled. "Thank you for your kind words. Forgive me for being forward, but I hope it would please you all if I may rest. My mind and body ache."

"Of course, Padre Fermin." Bishop Victoriano stood as he assisted Padre Fermin in standing. "I am surprised that you could last throughout the day. I would be happy to show you to your room."

"Bishop." Everyone in the room looked at who spoke. Padre Federico stood, and when the Bishops and Padre Fermin gave him their attention, he slightly bowed. "Forgive me for my suddenness, but it would be an honor to show Padre Fermin to his room."

The Padres murmured to one another. Bishop Victoriano noticed that Padre Federico held no emotion; he believed the Padre had planned something. 

"Well, that is very kind of you, my brother. Bishop, he offered, and I am certain you all must also be exhausted from planning such a beautiful event. It would be swell to speak more of my brothers."

Bishop Victoriano didn't want to cause a scene or express his suspicions of Padre Federico. "Very well. Padre Federico, please ensure that Padre Fermin is comfortable with his room and tend to any needs he may have."

"It will be done." Padre Federico walked forward and motioned to Padre Fermin to follow him. Padre Fermin walked forward while Padre Federico stood slightly behind him. Padre Fermin's companions returned to get more of Padre Fermin's belongings and the gifts he brought for the Mission's inhabitants. Cold air blew as many inhabitants in the Mission cleaned the mess and put things away. Padre Federico glanced occasionally to see if he would capture a glimpse of Metztli, but she was nowhere to be seen.

"You seemed troubled, brother."

Padre Federico got out of his thoughts as Padre Fermin spoke to him. "Oh, forgive me. I am still processing that you have given me the honor of being by your side. Your work is legendary, Padre Fermin. I find it inspiring to think you have so many ambitions and plans." The Padre felt the opposite; he despised that more Missions would be created where men like him would be entrapped in a lie. 

The young Padre felt anger and resentment toward Padre Fermin and his predecessor, Padre Junipero Serra, for creating a desolate life. 

Padre Fermin was silent as he looked at Padre Federico; he stopped walking. Padre Federico did the same; all his negative feelings were gone as he felt annoyed but worried that he may have done something wrong. The men were silent until Padre Fermin spoke, "There is no need to lie, brother. I can see the exhaustion and resentment in your eyes."

His words shocked Padre Federico, but he was amazed that the older man could read him so well. Padre Federico believed it was best not to pretend, for the first time, he felt he could express what he truly felt and thought. "I never wished to-"

"There is no need to be formal or lie about your feelings. I know the truth, my brother. I have seen the same eyes on many Padres within the Missions. I also know that many did not have a choice but to follow the path of God, while others were deceived by what was supposed to be promised."

"You know, Padre Fermin, but nothing has been done to help many men like myself to have a choice to leave."

"You always had a choice, like many of your brothers. Yet you swore to God, whether it was forced or not. It's your choice whether or not to keep your oath. When it is your time to be before him, you must answer why you chose to go forward or against your oath."

Padre Federico's eyes widened. Hearing Padre Fermin's words, the man trained by Junipero Serra felt relieved. Looking at him, he couldn't help but notice the slight bags under his eyes, which made him curious. "Your words truly touched my heart, Padre Fermin. I have felt that you have lifted a weight from my heart. If I may be so bold to ask, are you truly happy in your position?"

The question momentarily silenced Padre Fermin as he continued walking. "No, not entirely. I had hopes and dreams of how I would help the savages convert to the way of God. My expectations were not what I had hoped. It saddens me that we all must go through extreme lengths to do so and be in the most isolated places, but I made an oath to God. I plan to keep it until my dying breath."

Padre Federico eventually stopped at one of the doors, opened it, and motioned Padre Fermin to enter. "I hope that you feel comfortable. Please gather your strength, and I must thank you again. You have made me open my eyes, and I am happy that I am not alone."

"You were never alone, brother. Think well before making your decisions." Padre Fermin made the sign of the cross for the young Padre. Padre Federico bowed and closed the door behind him; he decided to go to his quarters. The conversation made him see many things in a new light. He always had a choice whether or not to continue being a Padre. There were always consequences to one's actions, but the question was if Padre Federico was willing to suffer them. The Padre stopped while looking at the Mission's natives cleaning.

His answer was clear.