Love the Impossible

Chapter 29 - Rachel's P.O.V.

For the first time in years, I was scared.

Not because of the world, though it could be very brutal when it wants. Not because of the people, though they also can be cruel, like the world. Not about the different supernatural creatures that walk around this world, trying to eat half-bloods and stuff. Not about the vision that could give me several sleepless nights with nightmares included.

I was scared of facing a mirror.

Once my deal with Hades and Persephone was done, I'll admit I didn't feel different. I didn't feel lighter or heavier or anything. I remember Persephone smirking in my direction, while Hades was a statue of emotionless. I remembered shrugging the feeling off and bowing and leaving.

Nico was the first one to give me an actual reaction.

His eyes widen a little bit and his mouth hung for a few seconds, before showing me the same expressionless face that his Father gave me. I didn't miss the way he let go of my wrist when we arrived to CHB.

Mr. D was the second one in giving me opinion. Though, unlike Nico, he didn't kept quiet.

Him and Chiron were waiting for me, apparently, Octavian had drove the entire Camp upside down because I was missing (I seriously wanted to laugh when they told me he was without pants). I remembered Chiron's smile, knowing I sacrificed something and this was the rest of my life. Mr. D, however, wasn't that subtle.

"Heaven's above, Chiron! Is that the Olympians have no taste anymore for women?! Where did they picked her parent?! Highly stoned in a party?!"

Not gonna lie, that hurt.

As I walked to the cave, I could noticed the shock, the snickers, the mumbling, the rumours and the award-winning smirks of my appearance. I held my head up high, though, it was hard.

I was expecting Octavian to yell at me. I was expecting to defend my point of view on why I did what I did. I was expecting running away from the cave, hearing the taunts of people and hide in the woods until the night, when I'd beg Will to let me sleep in his cabin.

What I didn't expect was a welcome.

Octavian doesn't know, but every taunt is breaking me inside. For some unknown reason, my appearance was something that highly amused everyone. I'll admit that I haven't seen my closest friends laughing at me, yet. Probably, because I haven't seen them in days. I was confined, by own choice, inside my cave. I didn't want to go out. The cave was my safe heaven.

Away from everyone.

I was slowly detaching from Octavian. I became more quiet, I wouldn't joke around or even to paint anymore. I knew I should work on letting him know that I still care, that I still love him, that I always will, but... it's hard when you don't have the confidence to keep him at my side.

This morning, I reached my breaking point.

I woke up, with Octavian's arms wrapped around me. I couldn't go to sleep without that feeling anymore. The only times I could smile honestly, where those moment where I wasn't thinking about anything. Where those moment when I wake up and the first thing I see is his face, sleeping peacefully next to me. I know I've been fake smiling to him, but I really didn't want him to see how broken I became.

Feeling the need of using the bathroom, I began to untangle from him, placing a kiss in his forehead, before my feet touch the ground and get up from bed. I stretched and, it was then, when I noticed a shiny object at the entrance of the cave. I gotta get a curtain as a door... I went picking it up, thinking that maybe, I didn,t put everything in place last night. But, it didn't belong to me.

It was a mirror.

The design itself was pretty. It had a handle and the edges were decorated with roses. In a way, it reminded me to the mirror of The Beauty & The Beast, my favourite movie of all times. I didn't look myself at the mirror, because I was more interested in the note that was attached to it:

"In movies, mirrors break under true ugliness... Why don't you give it a shot?"

My eyes began to water and I tossed the mirror onto the floor, not caring about how much noise I was making. I ran into the bathroom and I locked myself in there, curling up in the floor, against the bathtub. When people will see that words hurt the most?! I wailed my eyes out, not keeping out my hurt and pain.

Knocks where heard outside the door, but I couldn't make out the words or who the voice belonged to. I was to concentrate in my own selfpity party that I wanted to be alone. But that was it, right? I could never be truly alone again.

I didn't want to take my life out. That was too much of a coward. But, I did made an irrational decision: I wiped my tears (or all I could) and got up, grabbing the first thing I found out, that turned out to be a shampoo bottle. In the angle I was standing, I couldn't see myself in the bathroom mirror, nor I was ready to see myself. With all the anger I could mustered, I threw the shampoo bottle against the mirror, creating cracks on it. It didn't broke, but I, at least, could not see myself like I was suppose too.

People do crazy thing for love, right?

Then, why giving away my beauty is different from anything else?

Why I should be the target of mocking and taunting because I was selfless enough to sacrifice it?

When I opened the door, I didn't stand there, thinking about how I woke up Octavian and how desperate he was. I launched into his arms and cried, hiding my face in his chest.

So much for being a heroine...