you know it's not the same as it was
❛ ㅤㅤㅤㅤ⎯⎯ㅤㅤIN WHICH sadie & jeremiah
reunite in the summer after years of not seeing each other, the only difference this time is their feelings for one another which are stronger now that they're older. coming to...
( we don't talk anymore ── charlie puth feat. selena gomez )
❛ every now and then i think you might want me to come show up at your door but i'm just too afraid that i'll be wrong ❜
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do you ever wonder, what is it with human hearts that makes them so fragile? why do you feel your heart breaking when in reality it's a perfectly functioning organ in your chest that has nothing to do with the emotional pain that you are feeling?
sadie knew she had a sensitive heart from a young age. she knew if she didn't toughen up, she was bound to a lifetime of tears, disappointment, and heartbreaks. but it was as if she didn't know any better.
regardless of their previous exchange and of the evident disgust on his face when his eyes landed on her, sadie found herself lingering in the hallway, trying to muster the courage to enter jeremiah's room to finally talk to him.
one deep breath after another, she softly knocked on the half-closed door of his room before she could change her mind and just go to bed. "come in," he faintly said, probably not considering it could be her, someone he had no desire to see, much less talk to.
she opened the door, her heart pounding in her chest so loudly, so fast, as if it were a stranger on the other side and not jeremiah, the boy she loved her entire life. but in that moment in time, despite their long history, they did feel like strangers. "hi," she greeted softly, her words just above a whisper.
the fisher boy fumbled with the bedsheets, his back straightening once he heard her voice. he was mad, he was pissed, he was absolutely livid, but he was so tired he didn't even spare her another glance and returned to the task at hand.
sadie felt a pang in her chest. she couldn't admit it out loud, but jeremiah just turning his head on her felt like a slap in the face. the pain lingered for a moment, everything suddenly aching again. god, was it normal to feel emotional pain so deeply?
she blinked a few times, casting the swelled-up tears away. she cleared her throat. "let me help you." she offered, knowing the fisher boy always had trouble putting sheets on. she didn't mind the job; it gave her something to focus on for a moment other than jeremiah's cold stare.
he dropped the new sheets on the bed and stepped away. he didn't speak, just carefully watched her as she took the clean sheets and began putting them on the bed.
she neatly put them on, piece by piece, and despite the anger he felt, jeremiah couldn't help but admit to himself that her movements were so graceful he had to admire them.
for a moment, he forgot they were no longer together. for a moment he felt his heart open up to her again, all the resentment fading away as he fell into an abyss of their shared times together.
"jere," she so quietly whispered, but despite the softness of her tone, the daydream was shattered. the scowl on the fisher boy's face returned, his gaze ice cold again.
she finished putting on the sheets; now her only focus was her ex-boyfriend and a failed attempt to talk to him. "jeremiah," she repeated, her voice a little firmer now. sadie was determined to get a word out of the fisher boy; she wished upon anything, even for him to cuss her out, just to acknowledge her existence again.
the blue-eyed boy pursed his lips, biting his tongue not to say anything. "i don't want to talk to you," he let out despite himself. "i said everything i needed to say to you."
his tone was harsh, cutting at every piece of sadie's heart that was left. "please," again, her tone nothing but a pleading whisper, a desperate attempt to wake Jeremiah's sympathy up. "this can't be how it ends, jeremiah. please, i—"
"i have nothing to say to you," he cut her off, "and i don't want to listen to your bullshit excuses." his arms sat crossed on his chest, his gaze stern, his decision final, unmoving.
sadie let out a breath, one of defeat, her whole face falling in disappointment as her eyes glossed over with tears. "okay." she didn't push any further; she didn't have the strength to keep going tonight. with one last parting glance, she left the room, her heart sinking to her feet.
when did jeremiah get so cruel? she wondered as she descended down the staircase. how could he be so heartless, without an ounce of sympathy, without the need to hear her out? why wouldn't he hear her out...?
just as she made her way into the hallway on the ground floor, she bumped into conrad entering the house. "oh, hey," she puffed in surprise at his surprise entry.
"hey," conrad murmured back, his tone equally as disappointed and defeated as sadie's.
the crawford girl wiped her eyes, smudging a few escaped tears away. "what's up with you?" the boy asked.
her eyes shone under the light, more tears swelling despite her trying her hardest to fight them. she didn't answer conrad's question; she just stood there looking at him for a moment.
"is it jeremiah?"
a loud sigh escaped her lips. she leaned on the wall behind her, holding it for support. "he doesn't want to talk to me. he doesn't want to talk to me at all. he all but kicked me out of his room." a few stray tears escaped, rolling down her cheeks.
"sadie," conrad tried to comfort her, but he too was nursing a broken heart. it seemed that both of the brothers found themselves in a difficult situation.
with her head in her hands, she slid down the wall, lowering herself to the ground. "this place has never felt colder."
and conrad couldn't help but agree. the summer house that his mother nursed all these years has never felt so distant. it seemed as if susannah took the warmth of the summer house with her when she died.
conrad lowered himself next to sadie, the only way he knew how to comfort her, but also himself in that moment. the pair sat like that on the floor in silence for a while. sadie's head rested on conrad's shoulder, both of them feeling like two lost little kids.
their childhood seemed so far away. a distant memory of a past life when they were so happy and so carefree.
but their harsh reality wasn't letting them daydream about the past; it was making them question their future and just how cruel life could be.
ㅤㅤㅤㅤ⎯⎯ㅤㅤNESSA'S NOTES! i cannot wait for you to see in which direction this book is going SO EXCITED !!
