Insanity [Light × Reader × L]

71] Devastation

L appeared to have reached his limit. The commotion was abruptly halted when L banged the table.
"SILENCE!" He yelled.
That was the FIRST time I heard him yell. He got up from his chair and glared at Mogi. Everybody leave. Y/n stay.
Light clicked his tongue.
" that's not necessary -"
" I said EVERYBODY leave" L glared at Light. They all left one by one and only us two were left in the room.
I gulped before looking at L. Was he suspicious of me? I sighed.

"Look , ryuzaki I know what yo-
He caught me offguard by attacking me in a hug. I just stood there in confusion.
"What happened-"
He looked at me with the most hurt expression ever.
W-Was he crying!??
"Ryuzaki?" I mumbled out a bit hesitantly
He looked  into my eyes and as look as my gaze met his, my heart clenched.
The man who was known for being monotonous and dull had such expressive eyes? The look on his face only screamed devastated.
He cupped my face with his big hands.
"Are you crying...?"
He didn't reply to me. He just stood there with my face in his palms.
He traced my cheek with the back of his hand .
Longing... pain... concern...
His eyes looked like a vast ocean. And I was sinking. Sinking deep down into it's depth. Did I even know how to swim?
I can't recall.
But as my hands failed allowed aimlessly in the water, trying to grab at something for support...knowing tgere wasnt anything left i saw the the bottom of the ocean.
Dark.
and then I saw the glisten.
The glisten in his eyes that were brimming with tears. Tears fighting to stay in and emotions fighting to be let out. Was there any point of flailing? When I may have known how to swim all along.

It's as if I didn't even need to hear him say it. With a frantic motion, he pulled me close into himself.
My face was buried into his hard chest and I could hear his unstable heartbeat.
It felt eerily warm...
The scent of tea.. sugar cubes and traces of a once strong cologne that was like a faded memory on his body.
I stood still. Unable to process an appropriate reaction so fast.
His other hand was holding the back of my head as he tightened his hold on me, as if I would slip away if he let go.
His fingers were intermixed between strands of my hair now as he gently held the back of my head.
Tight. But not hurtful.
Dare I say it felt... good.
I let out a breath I was holding in unconsciously and slowly let my body relax against him completely.

I wasn't even aware I wanted this.
No. Needed this.
I let myself be free. Be unbothered.  About whatever had happened in the past few days. It's as if nothing more mattered in this moment.
His unstable heartbeat somehow stabilized mine.

"Ryuzaki?" I mumbled under my breath.
"How dare you...." he spat.
"Sorry?"
"How dare you play with my heart like this y/n?" He creaked out
I really didn't know what to say.
"You know how scared I was? You know how terrified I was when I saw your limp body crushed under-"
He paused as the next few words struggled to leave his tongue.
Scared to even mention it.
"Why did you go to such a place?"
He frowned disapprovingly.
"And most of all. How was Raye Penber's body... the man who presumably died months ago there alongside you?"
I sighed as I gently separated myself from L's embrace.

"Ryuzaki I..."
I genuinely was at a loss of words now.
And then suddenly it was like the words were slipping out of my tongue on their own. My brain must have been special hm?

" Raye Penber is agent X"
.
.
.
.
.
"What?"
He stared at me blankly.
"Agent X.. The one who you thought was affiliated with the whole-"
"I'm sorry what?" He deadpanned.
I paused for a second and then continued.
"That evening,  I got a call from someone saying that they were agent X. He asked to meet at that abandoned warehouse and well... I couldn't miss the chance. I really wanted to see for myself. The condition was that I had to be alone so as a last resort I forwarded you my location incase things would turn... welll... nasty"

L stared at me blankly for a moment. I could see his logical side resurface as he started to look like he was zoning out into a myriad of his own thoughts.

"Raye Penber as Agent X" he mumbled.
"But he was dead.. in the bus hijacking-"

"No-" I interrupted.
"He never died,Ryuzaki..
You see... according to what he told me,
He managed to escape the hijacking and decided to stay in hiding, fearing Kira. After his wife Naomi's death he couldn't handle it and decided to enter the whole game with a new name.
As Agent X"

Ryuzaki pondered for a few moments.
"And why did he call you then?"
I placed a hand on my chin.
"That's what I don't know either Ryuzaki... that's the thing I went there to findout but..."

"But what?"
"But I don't know what happened after I saw him there. There was a strong breeze and the building just collapsed..."

Ryuzaki looked tensed for a few minutes. His signature look had returned.
"Maybe he wanted to get rid of you.
It was a setup"

At this point I was brainstorming, but I had to keep this going somewhere
"Oh yeah... before the ceiling collapsed... he looked a bit panicked though..."

Ryuzaki looked at me with the same expression.
" That's it then. It was a setup. He wanted to get rid of us... starting with you. He was panicked that means he had planned to get you killed but seemingly something went wrong with his plan and he ended up falling victim too."
I pretended to think for a few seconds.

" shit.. that sounds... "
"Accurate."

"But Ryuzaki why would he want to get rid of me at all?"

" That's what I think is weird Y/n"
I nodded in pretense.
L simply placed his thumb in his mouth and then looked at me straight in the eye.

"You're lying"