the one with the burnt tongue

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INT. MONICA AND RACHEL’S APARTMENT – EVENING]

The kitchen is chaos. Monica is chopping furiously. Ronnie stands at the counter in an apron three sizes too big, slicing strawberries with the intensity of a ninja.

"Okay, I need the duck glazed, the asparagus blanched, and the strawberries not murdered. You good?" Monica asked the teenager beside her

"You want precision or attitude? I can’t do both at once." She said to her

"Welcome to professional kitchens." Monica said to her

(enters, holding a briefcase)
"Hey, I’m on my way to a business interview... or maybe I’m selling insurance. I haven’t decided."Chandler said

"If your tie gets any tighter, your brain’s gonna tap out." Ronnie said to her brother

---

[INT. MONICA’S APARTMENT – LATER]

Steve, the restaurant owner, arrives. He’s visibly high but trying to seem interested. Monica gives him a warm greeting, a fake smile cranked to max.

"Steve! So glad you could come. This is my assistant — Ronnie." Monica said to him as she introduced Ronnie

(eyes glazed)
"Is she... twelve?" He asked as he looked at her

"Thirteen, thank you. Age discrimination is illegal, even for stoners."she told him

Monica shoots her a death glare. Steve wanders off, distracted by Marcel the monkey who’s randomly visiting.

---

[INT. KITCHEN – MOMENTS LATER]

Ronnie is carefully plating appetizers. Enter Jake, sneaking in the back like a raccoon with charm. He’s got messy hair, a backpack, and an excited grin.

"Smelled food all the way from the stairwell. Could be a gas leak. Could be duck." He said

"Shhh! Monica will flambe you." Ronnie said as she shushed him

"Just let me taste one thing. I didn’t eat dinner. I had like, three Tic Tacs and a Cheerio." He told her

He grabs a spoon of hot glazed duck from the tray — and immediately recoils.

"OH MY GOD." He screamed

(laughing)
"You okay?!" She asked him

"I just boiled my taste buds into retirement." He said to her in pain

(rushing in)
"What’s going on in here? Why is there screaming?" Chandler asked

"Tell my parents I went out bravely." Jake said to Chandler

Jake flails dramatically while Ronnie wipes his tongue with a napkin, laughing way too hard.

---

[INT. MONICA’S APARTMENT – LIVING ROOM – LATER]

Steveis now lying upside-down on the couch talking to Marcel. Monica is defeated. Ronnie and Jake sit in the corner with an ice cube in his mouth.

"You know, that was the most heroic act of idiocy I’ve ever seen." Ronnie said to him

"You’re welcome. I suffer for flavor." He said to her

She leans in slightly, serious for a second.

"Hey… thanks for showing up. I kinda needed someone to laugh with tonight." She whispered to him

"That’s what I do. I show up. Like a loyal golden retriever."he told her

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