Recesses of the Heart

27

I was needed at Lotus Pier for a few days. The war was going on but I was still considered head disciple of the Jiang sect. Madam Yu needed me back to train some disciples so they can join forces. I told her anyone younger than fifteen should stay at Lotus Pier. She said they can still train as Lotus Pier had yet to be targeted.

I felt that this time around, things changed. Wen Chao, Wen Xu, Wang Lingjiao, and Wen Zhuliu were all dead but that didn't mean Sect Leader Wen didn't have people to help attack other sects. Due to the death of his sons and loyal dog, Wen Ruohan will be pissed, and I can only imagine him wanting to go after the people who did it.

Word had been out that it was me and Lan Zhan, but of course, me under my disguised name, Xiao Wuji. Lan Zhan was with me because he refuses to be anywhere else without me by his side. I had felt that same way as it was getting hard to be away from him. A bond may have been started with Baoshan's help, but she did warn us that it will grow over time. It was more of a charm to help enhance the soul bond that we already had and it just needed a little push to come forward.

I was at the training grounds with Jiang Cheng and Lan Zhan. We split the disciples up in two groups. Disciples nine to fifteen with Jiang Cheng and the older disciples, eighteen to twenty were with me. Jiang Cheng was to help the younger ones out with their familiarity with the sect sword formations and techniques.

For me, I was to help perfect them and allow the disciples to add a bit of their own personality to it too.

"Jiang Bohai (powerful sea wave), you are the oldest and most well versed in your skills. You will lead the drills. I will go around correcting your forms. Lan Zhan, if you want, if you spot anything, feel free to help out," I ordered.

"Mnn," Lan Zhan nodded and helped me correct the disciples if they needed it.

We spent all morning just working on sword drills. Soon everyone took a break to have lunch. As I walked to the dining hall with Lan Zhan and Jiang Cheng, I explained to Lan Zhan what will happened after we eat, "everyone will get two hours of rest before we meet up for archery training. The older disciples we trained this morning will be found on patrol so we will be working with the younger ones that Jiang Cheng worked with this morning."

"Mnn," Lan Zhan hummed, "what are the plans for that?"

"We usually set up kites for the disciples to shoot at. It is to help them with precision and the ability to shoot at moving targets," I explained.

"Alright, what will happen between now and training?" Lan Zhan asked.

"Well, after we eat I am to meet with Sect Leader Jiang. He and Madam Yu will be here while Jiang Cheng and I head back out to the campaign in a few days. I am just here to make sure that their wards are up to date and ready if an invasion occurs," I explained.

"That shouldn't happen this time," Lan Zhan told me, "the Wen heirs are gone."

"Sect Leader Wen could still retaliate for us killing his sons and his loyal dog," I explained.

He nodded, "if you are here to work on defenses, why are you overworking yourself in helping others train in the meantime?"

"I am only improving the wards when everyone else is asleep. Sect Leader Jiang thinks the wards he has now are find but I disagree. So I just have to go behind his back and tweak them when no one is watching," I said.

"Since the wen forces are all spread out right now due to the campaign, they may not have the time to worry about Lotus Pier," Lan Zhan pointed out.

"I am not taking any chances," I said, "I watched them all die once...not again," I stepped  closer to Lan Zhan so he could only hear me, "I may have different opinions on Sect Leader Jiang and is Wife these days, but I still care about the disciples here and the two heirs. Even if the leaders are gone, I want to make sure that Lotus Pier doesn't need to rebuild itself like last time. You were not there, so you do not know how much it hurts me just to be here now. Seeing all these disciples alive again that died due to my negligence."

"That's what you believe?" Lan Zhan asked, "that it was your fault? How? Did you lead the ambush yourself?"

"No! Of course not!" I replied.

"Then why blame yourself?" He asked, "they attacked the other sects, some of the minor sects disappeared because of them. They used you as an excuse but they had their purpose and it was not on you to begin with."

"You don't know that," I said.

"Even if you didn't provoke Wen Chao back then, Lotus Pier would have still been a target," Lan Zhan told me.

"Is that so?" I asked, "Why haven't they attacked us yet then?"

He went silent after that. I wanted to believe his words but after being embedded into my head for years and the guilt that sat with me all the while, is hard to let go of. I felt that one would understand.

"A'Ji?" A person called me from behind me. I turned away from Lan Zhan and saw Maiden Jiang headed my way.

"This conversation is done for now," I told Lan Zhan and went to Shijie, "Shijie, what can I do for you?"

"I just sensed that you were upset and I wanted to make sure you were alright," she said.

"I am fine, just very hungry," I told her.

"Well go eat before your Shidi and Shimei eat all the food," she told me.

"You would let me starve?" I asked teasingly and pouted.

"Of course not," she said, "but since food is available, go now before there isn't any."

"Fine," I said and left.

I heard her giggling as I walked away. It's nice to still have a good relationship with her. I know the Jiangs have their own issues and some families are never perfect. This family is a very odd one. Her parents are so caught up in past relationships that it bleeds into their lives to this day.

I am just glad that they do not know my identity right now.

"We will talk more later," Lan Zhan told me as he entered the dining hall with me.

I nodded at him and went to go get something to eat. He got some plain rice and some vegetables that had little seasoning on them. I know his food preferences were not like those here so I am glad the cooks were kind to take his presence into consideration. I of course, do not care for spicy food. The hotter the better.

Many question how I can handle such things but I never had a problem with it. Maybe it's just something only I can handle. Maybe it's a family thing, who knows. I am not going to let others opinions change my preferences on food. No one comes between me and my food.