Recesses of the Heart

35

Wuxian was pacing. He hated the separation between him and Wangji but it was tradition that the couple were apart before the wedding, only to reunite at the altar. It was just the night before that the two were in a heated make out session. Wuxian could still feel the aftermath buzzing on his lips.

He licked his lips and giggled at the memory. He was so in love and in about a week, Wangji would be his forever. He paced because he was nervous and because he missed the man already. It had only been a few hours and they had several days to go.

"You know, you could train to pass the time," Baoshan suggested, "it can help keep your mind busy."

"I know, it's just odd not having him beside me all of a sudden," Wuxian said, "but hopefully I will be fine...I only worry about my sleep. I tend to get nights when I'm away from him."

"I can give you something to help with that," Baoshan said, "I have made a batch of my Tapir Fragrance dew, the concoction allows for pleasant dreams."

Made from blood of the Dream-Consuming Tapir claws. A single drop in tea will guarantee good dreams for a week. Also, having the ability to regulate spiritual energy and aid in one's cultivation. (Idea came from ErHa: The Husky and his White Cat Shizun).

"Helps me have pleasant dreams?" Wuxian asked as he took a bottle from her.

"Mnn, just one drop in a cup of tea before bed. The rest of the week, you will be free of nightmares," She said, "take this one back with you. This one is lotus flavored, as I know it's a favorite of yours."

"Thank you," Wuxian said, "this will be helpful. Sometimes my past tends to come back when I'm asleep."

"It's something you are still fighting over?" Baoshan asked.

"I know it's all over but for some reason the pain just keeps coming back," Wuxian told her.

"Trauma is not something that just goes away. It's something that can last years, maybe even your entire life. It's all about how you react to it and the people you surround yourself with," Baoshan said.

Wuxian nodded, "I know, Lan Zhan has been a big influence on that. Maybe it's just due to his presence but I feel...safe with him. Even when I know I have nothing to worry about."

"It's good, you trust him, even when you are at your most vulnerable," Baoshan said, "it's important."

Wuxian nodded, "there are times where I wish I noticed before."

"You have each other now," Baoshan said, "your bond will complete soon. Then you will never have to worry about anything again."

"Thank you for everything you've helped use with," Wuxian said, "I do wish my parents were here for this."

"I know, I miss them too," Baoshan said, "and I am always here. Never forget that."

"I will not," Wuxian said.

Lan Wangji wasn't doing much better. He wasn't pacing but he was anxious. He was better at calming his mind and body but at the moment, he was also like Wuxian. All he could think about was the night before, their heated make out. He could still taste Wuxian under his tongue. He wanted him so badly and he was so close to having him all.

Wuxian knew that Wangji was going to keep him all night, and sleep would not be possible. Throughout the week, they managed to keep themselves busy. Lan Qiren helped Wangji quite a bit, giving him tasks like helping him grade papers and helping out in the training fields. Wangji didn't care much for interaction but he excelled in the literature aspect. Lan Qiren even asked Wangji if he wanted to have a lecture class of his own.

Wangji agreed and asked if he could teach the juniors more on the guqin. Lan Qiren thought it was a good idea, as many of the juniors needed improvement on their music skills. There were a few teachers but Wangji was the best in everything. Wangji knew more on the guqin and the music scores. He studied even outside of classes because he enjoyed it so much. Perhaps because he'd practice the Guqin a lot when his mother was still around and it was something that he always cherished and wanted to continue it to keep her in memory.

Wei Wuxian, was a little more of a challenge. Though Baoshan had him in the library and immediately took him to the charms and talismans and weaponry section. Wei Wuxian was lost in it. Baoshan had to be sure to get food to him or he'd neglect that part of his health. After all, Wuxian had a tendency to get lost in what he was doing if he was really into the subject at hand.

During this separation, Lan Xichen tried to make time to talk with Wangji. Wangji was not entirely interested in what he had to say but he still gave him a chance since he was still his brother. Wangji's trust in him was broken, and now he wasn't going to give him much of anything unless he earned it.

"I owe you an apology," Xichen said.

"I'm not the only one who needs one," Wangji said.

"I know, and I will find time to talk with him...but I want you to know that I have been repenting," Xichen said.

"Xiongzhang, I told you before, if you betray me again, my trust in you is gone," Wangji told him, "you wanted to believe your A'Yao was innocent when you had me and Chifeng Zun witness him attacking Wei Ying and Nie disciples."

"I know, and I am going to make it up to you all as best as I can," Xichen said.

"I do appreciate that you stood up for Wei Ying at the last conference meeting, but it will not be enough to gain my trust back," Wangji said, "I have lived a life of betrayal once, and I saw that same betrayal happen to Wei Ying, and he had it way worse than me. I will not put up with it a second time."

"I am still sorry, Wangji," Xichen said, "I may not have any memory of that life but I should have trusted you."

"That is the thing," Wangji said, "you did not. It happened before. We are blood yet you ignored that both times. You'd rather believe in an outsider than me...I looked up to you, followed you, grew up respecting you, yet you broke my heart, Xiongzhang."

The last thing Xichen wanted was for this to happen. To see his brother break, and to see him cry. It took a lot to get Wangji to break and Xichen knew he was extremely hurt. Xichen nodded, "I will try to get earn back that trust."

Wangji didn't say anything more. He didn't want to be bothered about it now. His wedding was coming in a few days and the last thing he wanted was to be angry.