Recesses of the Heart

31

~*Lan Wangji's POV*~

I sat in bed with Wei Ying's head on my lap, and arms wrapped around my waist. I slowly ran my fingers through his hair, occasionally moving away from his face. He was in a deep sleep. It was always a challenge to wake him up, but he had just recovered from a poison and his fever was finally gone.

I knew that he'd be a bit tired now that his body was done fighting off the dangerous toxin. I was glad Wei Ying was in my arms right now, otherwise I might have gone to Cloud Recesses and burnt my brother's house down before fighting him. I'd fight him until he is bleeding and near death but not kill him. He'd have to fight to survive and live with my anger for a long time. The scars will be a reminder of betraying me.

I told him I would never trust him again if he betrayed me. He may not have seen any of the events take place in Wen Ruohan's palace, but with three people who witnessed Meng Yao committing crimes, my brother still chose to try and protect him, again.

I had my suspicions about Meng Yao in the past but I could never prove them. I thought back on the conversation we had that day. He came to ask me to help pick out competitors for the archery competition. He talked with me for a bit...I wonder if he was trying to get information from me.

~*Flashback (full conversation in ch. 17)*~

"Your partner, Wei Ying?" He asked with a grin.

I looked around, "Be careful."

"It's just us, I promise," he said, "I actually wanted to talk to you about him."

"Alright," I replied with some hesitation.

"You told us everything about your past life, how was he before?" Brother asked.

"He was a bit more outgoing and playful," I answered, "a lot happened for that to change...I watched him die."

"I'm sorry," Brother said, "what happened before you came back to the past?"

"I died due to being unable to recover from a punishment," I told him, "I stood up for Wei Ying and I hurt some of our people. I was punished with the discipline whip for hurting them. I was too heartbroken to allow myself to heal and my golden core was weak from all the fighting. I think I died in my sleep." I noticed my brother crying, "I do not regret what I did, and you had tried to talk the elders and Shufu out of my punishment. You had to deal with it even though you were the leader."

"I let you down, didn't I?" He asked. It was more like he said it as a realization than a question.

I nodded, "I don't blame you. I blame everyone."

Brother seemed to be looking at me with a new perspective. He seemed to understand that I had been severely hurt and betrayed by my own sect. I was lost and all I really wanted was to help Wei Ying. I don't blame brother too much but I do at the same time. I blame everyone for following Sect Leader Jin and not actually trying to be considerate and look into the matter before it escalated.

"Wei Ying, seems to really trust you," Brother said.

"He didn't always," I told him, "he and I had a lot of misunderstandings...I fell in love with him when we first met, but I didn't actually realize it until he went missing for three months. When he returned, he changed and I got concerned. I didn't know how to help him."

"Love?" Brother asked with a raised brow and a sly smile, "that is something I don't hear come out of your mouth."

"I want to marry him," I said not bothering with his teasing.

"You will, I am sure it will happen this time," Brother assured me, "and I look forward to really getting to know the real him."

I nodded, "it might take some time. He doesn't trust people like he used to."

"If he had to deal with people trying to kill him, I can understand that," Brother said, "I will be patient with him."

I nodded, "I appreciate you trying."

~*End Flashback*~

I sighed and kept repeating it all. It did not seem like he was trying to get anything but perhaps he was. I should question his intentions now that he was like he was in the past life.

I was not going to leave Wei Ying's side right now. Even if we had Baoshan with us, I was not thinking properly at the moment. I could do something rash if I am not next to Wei Ying right now. Wei Ying and I have fears we with now, and mine haunts me all the time. I fear losing him, even though it is nearly impossible now that we were immortal. Though, immortals can still be killed, but it takes a lot of time and effort.

I think because of what he and I suffered, and me witnessing him suffer to the point of no return, we just do not trust anyone any more. Our fears to be apart are so deep and real. My father, I know he would always help protect Wei Ying and I. I should talk to him about what happened but not now. I want Wei Ying with me.

"Wangji?" I heard my name called.

I looked up from my daze, "Wai Po," I greeted.

"You were out of it there for a bit," she told me and gently grabbed Wei Ying's wrist to check on him, "are you feeling alright?"

"Trying to be," I answered, "I guess I am still coming to terms with the fact that my brother will not change no matter how times we repeat the past."

She sighed and smiled gently at me, "He is a fool. He does not have the same view as you as he has no knowledge of his past life. Even if it is by word of mouth, experience is more evident sometimes than words. Plus, your brother was blinded by the kindness Meng Yao displayed to him. He save his life once, and did not want to believe Meng Yao would hurt someone important to him."

"Well, he did," I said, "Chifeng Zun, Chifeng Zun's men, and Wei Ying. I watched him stab Wei Ying in the back. My brother only came in seconds after it happened so he did not witness it. If he saw it, he'd probably have a different reaction."

"Well, Meng Yao is being charged, and your brother will have to deal with it," Baoshan said, "Wei Ying should be good by morning. You two can go speak with Lan Qiren and your father then."

"Alright," I said with a nod.

"Get some sleep, it has been a long day for you both," she told me.

I nodded. She even placed a kiss on my forehead before leaving. I smiled as I watched her leave. She reminds me of my mother a little bit. It was nice to have that. She treated me like family and I will always be grateful for that.