Suicidal(ERERI/RIREN)

Incomplete

Eren is stupid. Very stupid indeed. He thought he learned his lesson about pain. He thought he could run away from it. He was so wrong. He should have known that you can't hide or run from pain because it will find you. Pain isn't something that follows you, pain is in you. And you can't really run or hide from yourself, can you? There is no way to get rid of pain. People think that by killing themselves everything will be better and it will go away, but in reality the pain is just transferred to someone else (Eren is pretty sure he read that line somewhere).

Eren thought that by walking away from the coffee shop he will get rid of the pangs to his stomach, but of course, he was wrong. The image of Levi hugging Isabel and running his hands through her hair pained him. He could sense they had some kind of bond, a bond stronger than the one he has with Levi.

Eventually, Eren started questioning his relationship with the said man. He questioned if they were really friends or if Levi just kept Eren around for entertainment. After he came home, his mind just went haywire with absurd questions and possibilities about his and Levi's relationship and Isabel's past with the shorter male.

Tuesday morning, Eren tried his best to shake the thoughts from his head. He washed up and was ready to leave for school, when once again, Eren was wrong.

He was wrong about thinking that he could also run away or hide from Mikasa. Mikasa isn't a feeling in you, and she may not be able to find you as immediately as pain does but eventually she will, and it's either to beat you up or apologize. Eren expected a beating when he opened the door to leave his room and found Mikasa waiting for him with her arms crossed over her chest and tapping her foot on the floor, impatiently.

"You think you can avoid me by waking up early and coming home before I get to work and locking your door? Eren, you are not a child. We live together for God's sake!" Mikasa threw her hands up in desperation.

"I have to get to school or I'll be late." Eren tried to get past Mikasa but the raven girl wasn't buying any of it.

"You have an hour and a half before school starts. You have more than enough time." She said.

"There's a lot of traffic these days." Eren argued.

"Eren, you walk to school." Mikasa countered.

"Sometimes I make a few stops because I get tired." He shot back, trying to win the argument.

Mikasa bit back the argument that they lived less than 3 blocks away from the school and that there was no possible way Eren was that unfit.

"Listen," Mikasa said, avoiding Eren's eyes."I want to apologize for what happened a few nights ago.I shouldn't have said those thing about Levi. I'm sorry."

Eren honestly expected a beating. " It's ok. I'm sorry that I said those things to you." Mikasa nodded, signaling that it was ok. They hugged before Mikasa asked if he wanted breakfast but Eren turned the offer down.

He walked to school thinking of why he felt so sad every time Isabel is around Levi. Eren didn't know why but he suddenly felt very sad and jealous. No, not jealous -envious. He couldn't be jealous because Levi wasn't his. He felt envious of the closeness Isabel and Levi had. How could Eren feel threatened by Isabel if he couldn't loose the elder because he wasn't his to begin with? He could only feel envious of how comfortable Levi seemed to be with the red-haired girl. Could only feel envious of their relationship. Nothing more. He wasn't allowed to feel anything more than envy because Levi wasn't his. Levi wasn't his. Levi wasn't his.

The last thought had struck Eren like a lighting bolt. He felt sad. Sad that the thought was true.

Eren didn't spare a thought or word to anyone or any class subject for the rest of the day.